Donnerstag, 19. März 2020

i-Love - My Online Crush - Chapter 1

After a busy day I was on my way home. Finally.
It was a rather cloudy night and the rain followed me as I walked through the dark and gloomy streets. I didn't even care my hair was soaking wet, my shoes were soaked too and I looked like the rain itself in my blue coat. 
I reached my apartment building, went straight to the elevator and went up. I sighed and cooled my head on the metal walls. After a short while I arrived at my floor. The light in the hallway went on as soon as I stepped out of the elevator. A familiar scent went into my nose. 
There they were. Violet and blue, probably thirsty, too. 
I knelt down to greet the flowers that somebody had put into the hallway. I had no idea who was the owner, nor did I know who watered them. But somebody did, because the flowers were still here, blossoming, perfuming the hallway with their flowery fresh scent. 
After reaching my apartment I took my shoes off, put my wet clothes to dry and changed into something more comfortable. 
I turned on a small lamp. The dull light made my small apartment seem so cozy. 
Outside my window, the rain was still pouring. The relaxing sound of rain drops against the windows conjured a smile onto my lips. 
I wrapped my hair into a towel and while my laptop was turning on, I made myself a hot cup of coffee. Kanu of course. 
"Hello Gong Yoo.", I said and smiled at the man on the packaging of my instant coffee. A sigh slipped over my lips. I wished I had a man like that.
It has been a week since Tazza - Blind Steal has been released. All the Tazza movies had been my favorite movies by far. I browsed through the fan cafe and read the new comments while sipping on my coffee.
People seemed to have liked the new movie. But there also were some hardcore fans who weren't that pleased about the ending. 
I nodded as I read the comments. 
That was my life. My lonely life.
When I wasn't at home surfing online or reading comments, hanging out in my Tazza fan cafe, I was a social worker. I worked for the government. Sounds fancy, but wasn't fancy at all. Low income, overtime work and annoying customers day in and day out. But at least I was living in my own four walls, not depending on my parent's money, who had enough of a burden to pay for my sister's tuition. 
I knew from a very young age that my family wasn't as well off as other families. With just me as a child, we were doing quite well. But when my sister was born and my Dad lost his job due to some conflicts involving China, my family had a rough time. My sister was an unwanted child and my parents tried their best to never let her feel that way.
But don't you pity me. I have lovely parents. And my Dad did his best to get a new job and support us. I had a happy childhood, and so did my sister. 
By the time I graduated from High School, my sister's dream was set. She wanted to become a lawyer. She wanted to attend Seoul University and with her grades I knew she would be able to make it. So who was I to be in her way? 
I decided to become a social worker, my sister eventually made it into Seoul University and that's what things were like.
I opened the review thread of the fan cafe. People were already requesting my review. Believe it or not but I was somewhat famous among the Tazza fans. I was famous for the reviews I had written on the movies. To the extend that even a news article quoted one of my headlines once. 
I've given people one week to watch Tazza - Blind Steal now. It was time to finally write my review. 
While other people spent their Friday nights outside with friends, I liked being alone at home. Just coffee, my laptop and me. A cat would've completed that picture.
I had waited for this moment all week. Excitement arose in me as I stretched my fingers to be ready to type. 
Typing was like playing piano. The rhythm was soothing, the sound of the keyboard like a melody in my ears. I could write and write for hours without getting tired, without even noticing the time was passing and passing.
I hit the last dot. Done.
I breathed out heavily and lay back in my chair, looking at my master piece. This was the best review I had ever written. I was sure of it. 
It was already way past midnight and only now I felt the weariness pulling me. Luckily my apartment was small and so the bed was only a few feet away. I closed the lid of the laptop and let myself fall onto my mattress. 
With the sound of the rain still knocking on my window, I fell into a deep, deep sleep.

I woke up from the first sun rays crawling into my room. Yawning and stretching I made it out of bed. I quickly washed my face, put my hair into a bun and left the house in my pj's and some slippers. 
I went down with the elevator and around the corner of the building to the convenient store. I grabbed a tuna and mayo kimbap, a banana milk and went to pay.
"Good Morning, Soo Young.", Kyungmin said while scanning my breakfast. Literally scanning it, since he worked there.
"Morning, Kyungmin. You're working again?", I asked him.
Kyungmin smiled at me and nodded. "Of course. Who else will give you a free corn dog?"
I smiled back at him. 
Kyungmin was a rather odd fellow. He was tall and had a great figure. Even the shirt from the convenient store made him look like a model. I looked at him, wondering how a handsome guy like him, wouldn't have a girlfriend. 
"Your review was great.", he interrupted my thoughts. 
A girl giggled right behind me as she entered the store. I turned around only to find her and her friend grinning at Kyungmin. He shyly stroke his brown hair behind his ear, revealing a single earring. I knew this was all an act. Kyungmin wasn't shy, though he liked acting like that around girls.
I shook my head and ignored them, facing Kyungmin again. I eventually paid my food and waited until Kyungmin heated the corn dog for me. 
"You already read my review?", I asked and started to munch on the corn dog.
Kyungmin nodded in excitement. "I loved it.", he said. 
"Yes, I really did exceed myself this time.", I smiled in satisfaction.
"But this one guy, he put a pretty mean comment.", Kyungmin said scrolling on his phone.
"What?", I asked alarmed. "Let me see." I leaned over the counter to check the comments that had been written since last night. People were awfully fast. I basically just woke up and they were already commenting like little insects on my review.
Kyungmin scrolled further until he found what he was looking for. "There you go.", he said and handed me the phone.
"This review sucked. Did you even watch the movie? I believe you are too soaked up with the movies and you wear rose-colored glasses as everything you say is just praising every little thing of the movie. You don't deserve the title queen." - PrinceofBusan
"What on earth is his problem?", I raged. 
If this was a cartoon, fume would come out of my ears. Who was this PrinceofBusan guy to comment such nonsense?!
"Don't take it personal.", Kyungmin said in a sad attempt to calm me down.
"Don't take it personal?", I yelled, drawing the attention to me. "I will give him a piece of my mind.", I added and clenched my teeth.
And with that I left the store and Kyungmin behind. 
I hurried back into the apartment building, pressed the elevator button a thousand times, until the elevator finally arrived and went back up, restlessly walking back and fourth in the small space.
I rushed into my apartment, right in front of my laptop and started to search for that particular comment. I didn't even read what everyone else had said.
"Since I am the queen and you are just a lousy prince, I guess the hierarchy speaks for itself. Busan scum. Should I imagine that filthy dialect as you speak?", I answered.
That should quiet him down, I grinned. One of my hobbies was definitely to fight online battles. 
I finally let myself enjoy my morning, sipped on my banana milk and filled my stomach with the amazing mixture of rice, tuna and mayo. 
But the peace didn't last long, as the notification sound of my laptop made me sit straight up on my small couch, where I had been resting.
I marched over to my computer to see who had caused the alert. Of course it had to be him. PrinceofBusan. That name made me lose my face. Angrily I stared at the black letters on the white background. I should've known this fight wasn't over yet.
"It seems the queen was hit quite hard, seeing you attacking me right away. It sure is a regim of terror, with no criticism allowed." - PrinceofBusan
I balled my hands to fists. I released a load of air and tried to hold back the anger that had risen inside of me. I punched hard on the table. My coffee cup from last light jumped.
That prick. 
I was already typing my next message as I was heading back outside to meet Kyungmin. I had to share the injustice that was happening right now.
"Did you see what he replied?", I asked Kyungmin, who was sorting chips into a shelf. 
I put my phone in front of his face, so he could read everything that had been going on underneath that nasty comment of that weird PrinceofBusan guy, who definetely wasn't the most creative, seeing his lame name choice.
"Don't you think you're overdoing it?", he asked and rose his eyebrows.
Before I could even answer, Kyungmin took me by the shoulders and looked me deep in the eye. "You are so much better than that. You don't have to argue with some loser on the internet."
Maybe he was right, I thought. But I couldn't do anything against the fact that his criticism had really hurt me. And more importantly, I didn't deserve such a comment, since it was simply not true.
"But...", I started to say.
Kyungmin placed his finger on my lips to keep me from talking. He shook his head while smiling at me. He was one entire head taller than me, his brown hair, shiny and silky and his eyes were smiling as bright as his lips. 
"You should go back to your apartment, take a shower and then I will pick you up for some lunch to distract you. You will only make it worse by replying. You have a whole community on your side. You don't need to fight against one single hater."
I really felt more calm now.
"Fine.", I said somewhat disappointed. I was ready to fight. But Kyungmin was right. I shouldn't openly hold a battle in my comment section. I was the queen of the cafe and no one, not even that prince, could take that from me.
I went to take a shower. I really needed one. My hair was a mess. The day had already started and I was yet in my pajamas. 
The hot water took some of the stress off of me. But I still couldn't manage to stop thinking about PrinceofBusan's comment. Maybe he did have a point? No! No, no, no, no. Not even for a second I should be thinking that. I was a loyal fan of the Tazza movies and of course I talked highly of them, but that didn't mean that my opinion wasn't well reflected. And for sure I wasn't wearing rose-colored glasses. I wasn't some fan teenager, I was an adult. Or something like that at least.
I shook my head. I really should stop all these conversations in my head. It wasn't healthy. I didn't have to justify my review. 

I blow dried my hair, put on a pair of jeans, my favorite purple tee and a fancy pair of sneakers. I really loved that sneakers were on trend. Ain't nobody got time for heels. 
The doorbell rang and I knew it was Kyungmin, who's shift had ended a few minutes ago. He was always on time. Annoyingly on time actually. 
"Well now that is a look.", he complimented my randomly thrown together outfit. Kyungmin always made me feel good about myself.
"What are we gonna eat?", I asked, while we both headed outside. 
Kyungmin actually lived in the same apartment building as I. Some people thought we were best friends since childhood, but as a matter of fact we only met a few years back when I first moved into the building. 
Kyungmin's father was the manager of the convenient store and while Kyungmin himself still followed a career as a model - or he at least attempted to - he was living with his parents and helping out at the store. He was an only child. Lucky him, I sometimes thought. But I quite quickly felt bad for thinking that. It wasn't my sister's fault my parents just loved her a tiny bit more than me.
"What are you craving for?", Kyungmin asked me. 
I shrugged my shoulders. "You know I can basically eat anything.", I said.
Kyungmin giggled: "You sure can."

We eventually went to get some Kimchi Jjigae. As the weather got colder and autumn wanted to replace summer, my appetite for soups and stews grew bigger. 
Fun fact: When I met Kyungmin, he hated Kimchi Jjigae. But since I dragged him many many times to eat, he slowly started to like it too and now he was a straight up addict. 
I was sucking in the tofu, listening to Kyungmin talk about his newest achievements to be a model. He had landed some smaller jobs, but he hadn't found a good agency to sign yet. He could go on and on about contract contents, terms and conditions and what not. 
Honestly I didn't understand a lot of that model stuff. But one thing I knew, there was one agency just waiting for Kyungmin to show up. 
Some people might say his dream was stupid. But a dream is a dream, right?
"About my review...", I started another topic when we were almost finished with our lunch.
Kyungmin rolled his eyes: "Not again."
I gave him a mad glance. "I was thinking maybe I should ask that guy what he exactly meant by saying I'm simply praising everything about the movie."
"You shouldn't.", Kyungmin answered and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Why not?", I wanted to know. "It really bothers me, you know?!"
"He could be some old creep. You don't even know this guy, why bother talking to him. You're wasting your time."
"I don't care he is an old creep or not. I don't have to meet him?! I just want to clear things up and make him overthink is rude comment.", I stated.
Kyungmin sighed. "Do whatever you want.", he said. "But if you want to hear my opinion, you shouldn't be so hung up over something on the internet. There is a whole real world in front of you. It doesn't hurt to live here once in a while."
"What is that supposed to mean?", I snapped back at him.
"You know what I mean. Day in, day out you are stuck in front of your computer. I barely get to take you out anymore."
"So, your point is?", I asked him. Sometimes Kyungmin was the most annoying person I knew. He was the best in using things against me. And he was always right. Even though I knew that, I didn't want to give in just yet.
"What about your dream?", he asked me and he had that weird look on his face. I hated that look. It was a face that was trying to pull me and shake me and it said 'Hey, wake up!'.
"I should've never told you about that.", I said and with that I left the restaurant. 
Kyungmin followed me in an instant. 
"Alright, alright. I won't talk about it anymore.", he said holding his hands up, signalizing he comes in peace.
"You really shouldn't.", I said still angry. 

I was sitting in front of my laptop again. I spent a lot of time here. But what was wrong about that...
A lot of people actually had my back and told PrinceofBusan to shut up and to go elsewhere to spread his negativity. Luckily no one went against me and my rude comment. 
A message popped up.
"PrinceofBusan invited you to a private chatroom"
I confirmed the invitation.
PrinceofBusan: Hey there!
QueenOfHearts: Hi...
PrinceofBusan: I came to apologize.
QueenOfHearts: Oh really?...
PrinceofBusan: I didn't think your folk would try to force me out of the kingdom with torches and forks.
QueenOfHearts: Of course those loyal protect their queen...
PrinceofBusan: It wasn't fair of me to directly attack you. However I still think your review lacks some quality.
I thought for a while what should my next move be. He seemed arrogant. I squinted my eyes. I didn't like him. 
QueenOfHearts: What would be your suggestion for improvement then?
PrinceofBusan: I think you are seeing the movie too much as a single project. But Tazza is not only one movie, there are four. The review should put into consideration that compared to the first three movies the genre slightly changed into a more action filled movie.
QueenOfHearts: Interesting point!
QueenOfHearts: I get where you are coming from, though I seem to think a little bit differently. Just because the movies are related, they cannot be portrayed as just one single project. Each movie deserves its own review without comparing them to the previous ones. 
PrinceofBusan: Hmm, I guess you are right, too. I didn't see it from that angle. Since the movies try to follow a certain line, I find it necessary to look at them as one item. Tazza has a fan base and changing the genre of the movie also changes the fan base, which I find quite critical.
QueenOfHearts: That's true. The last Tazza movie has a different target audience. Just I don't think that this is necessarily something negative. 
PrinceofBusan: How come? Don't you as the Tazza queen should stick to the old thing?
QueenOfHearts: Even a queen has to be open for new things. I like that queen references. Suits me quite well.
PrinceofBusan: LOL
PrinceofBusan: If I may ask, which of the Tazza movies is your favorite?
QueenOfHearts: Hard to say...
QueenOfHearts: I think the first one is just a classic. I have to choose it as the best one. But I really like the change of games, when they took on poker. Just I have no clue of poker rules. 
PrinceofBusan: You play Go-Stop then?
And that's how my night went on and on.
I must admit, PrinceofBusan was a great partner to chat with. He seemed smart and even though I still thought of him as some arrogant prick, he also had an interesting side to him.
We agreed on a lot of things about the movies, like Goni was the best character of all of them and we both have been blinded by Madonna. We were both Go-Stop players, however none of us were great cheaters and we both had no idea how to play poker, nor did we know any of that lingo or combination of cards.  
At some point my message was left unanswered. Maybe it was the time - after all it was already midnight. I was a little disappointed that he didn't even say good night. But on the other hand we basically were complete strangers and just because we had been chatting for the last couple of hours, didn't mean we already had obligations like wishing each other a good night.
I was overthinking the whole situation, wasn't I? Just I somehow felt connected to PrinceofBusan.



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