Wednesday before the date:
"Oh god Hansol, I am so happy that you came.", Jimin said.
"What's wrong? It sounded urgent, when you called."
"It is super urgent.", Jimin confirmed.
After something had driven Jimin to agree to go to the movies with me as Hansol, he started panicking. He couldn't go nor could he stand me up. So there was only one solution left. Call the real Hansol and ask him for help.
Luckily Hansol had a spare minute and came over to the guys' apartment in no time. Jimin and Hansol were friends during Middle School. They stayed in contact even after Jimin started his trainee life and his career in BTS. They weren't best friends, but they had some history together.
"So what is it?", Hansol wanted to know. He sat down on one of the couches.
"You kind of have to go on a date for me.", Jimin immediately got to he point.
"What?", Hansol asked like he didn't hear correctly.
"It's this Friday. You got time, right?", Jimin awkwardly smiled.
"I think you need to explain to me a little what's even going on.", he said. He was startled.
"Well...", Jimin hesitated to tell him the story. "I kind of lied to a girl that I met online that I was you, so now she asked me for a date and I accepted and she expects you to come, not me."
Hansol blinked a few times. For a moment he thought Jimin was making a stupid joke. But seeing his serious expression, he knew Jimin was actually telling the truth.
"Slow down for a moment.", Hansol said and leaned forward. "Why would you tell her you are me?"
"Because I couldn't tell her it was me, for obvious reasons.", he made some wild gestures.
"I get that... but why chose ME?", Hansol wanted to know.
Jimin shrugged his shoulders. "You were the first guy I could think of, who isn't famous. You're tall and not ugly..."
"Thanks, I guess.", Hansol replied. He then sighed.
"So you will do it?", Jimin got his hopes up.
"Absolutely not.", Hansol said and shook his head.
"But why not?", Jimin whined. He didn't expect Hansol to refuse.
"One, I have a girlfriend and two I don't want to be part of this lie.", he explained.
"Please.", Jimin begged. He seemed desperate.
"Just tell her you lied to her and go yourself.", Hansol said.
"What if she isn't who she says she is?", Jimin asked still in a whiny tone.
Again Hansol sighed. He knew Jimin wouldn't give up until he gave in. That's how he's always been.
"What am I supposed to do? Go there and pretend to be you?", Hansol then asked.
"Basically you can be yourself. Just maybe leave out one or two details about yourself. Like that girlfriend. I don't think that's really helpful."
"You do realize I would be risking a lot, right?", Hansol replied. He didn't really want to go, but at the same time he wanted to help Jimin.
"I know.", Jimin sadly said and faced the ground. "I know I should've been honest, I guess. But I had my reasons to not tell her who I am. And I don't regret telling her it wasn't me. I'm sure she will eventually understand why I did it."
"So you want to tell her someday?", Hansol wanted to confirm.
"Of course.", Jimin immediately said. "Just not yet."
"When?" Hansol crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Jimin. If he really would be part of this, he needed to know for how long. "When will you tell her?"
"Just go on one date. And if it's really her, then I will tell her."
Hansol sighed yet another time. "I really hate doing this.", he said.
And that's how Jimin got Hansol to go on the date with me for him. I mean Jimin got a point there. He cannot actually just show up in a movie theater. Should I be understanding? Should I keep protecting him? What do you think? How would you've reacted? How do you think this story ends?
-
I went home with a strange feeling. The date was nothing like I expected it. And I couldn't say why. The thought that the person I talked to online and the person I just met weren't one and the same, grew stronger. It didn't make sense though. No sense at all. I didn't know that time how right I was about my feeling.
I went to the convenient store and hoped Kyungmin would be there. He was probably still on his date with Chanmi, but I really needed to talk to him. I needed to talk to someone.
I entered the store and the weight fell off of me when I saw him. Suddenly I teared up as I walked over to him. He was putting coffees into the shelf. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, pressed my head against his back and started crying.
Kyungmin, surprised by the sudden hug, was startled for a minute. He looked down on my arms around him and he knew it was me right away. But still he didn't understand why I was here crying.
"What happened?", he gently loosened my grip, turned around to pull me close to his chest. I was crying like there was no tomorrow. And I didn't even know why. I just couldn't stop.
Kyungmin rested his chin on my head, carefully caressing my back, trying to calm me down.
"Should I kill him?", Kyungmin asked. Of course he knew it had to have something to do with Hansol.
I shook my head and finally got a hold of myself.
"Come here.", Kyungmin said and guided me over to a small seating area. He placed me on one of the chairs and disappeared, only to come back with my favorite chocolate.
Then he also took a seat and looked at me with concern inside of his eyes.
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be on a date?", I asked and tried to be funny.
Kyungmin smiled at me. He knew I was trying to be strong by changing the subject.
"Shouldn't you be on a date as well?", he asked.
I didn't answer. Instead, I opened up the chocolate and started eating the sweetness.
"What happened? Did he do something to you? Did he try something funny?", Kyungmin wanted to know and I saw how his entire body tensed by the thought that something might have happened to me.
"No, nothing like that.", I shook my head.
"Then...?", Kyungmin wanted to know.
"It was just so weird.", I started off. "I cannot really explain why."
"Promise me, he didn't hurt you?", he needed to make sure.
I nodded. "Promise.", I said. "It was just that what he said didn't match what he told me before."
"What do you mean?"
"Like he told me he had a younger brother and then he was talking about his older brother. Also he said something about when he was in military, but online he had told me he didn't go yet."
Kyungmin tilted his head to the side. He was deeply in thought.
"Maybe he was just nervous.", Kyungmin said.
"And that's why you forget your brother?", I rose my eyebrow in doubt. "And there is more. He showed me his ID because I didn't really believe he was Hansol."
"He actually showed you his ID?", Kyungmin asked.
"On his ID is said he was born February 17th. Though he had told me his birthday was October 13th."
"That is so weird.", Kyungmin confirmed what I had thought the entire time.
"Isn't it? So I kind of just ran away. I didn't know what to think, it didn't feel right being with him, because it didn't feel like it was actually him. The way he spoke was so different."
"But sometimes people act way different on the internet from what they are in real life."
"Really?", I asked.
"Of course. Because it's way easier to be someone else when you can hide behind the internet. You have time to think about what you text and it's way easier to lie about something when you don't face the person at that moment."
I thought about Kyungmin's words. "But why would he lie about those stupid things?", I wanted to know.
Kyungmin shrugged his shoulders.
"It just doesn't make sense, why would you lie about your family or your birthday. What's the difference?!", I really didn't get it at all.
"Maybe you should just quit seeing him.", Kyungmin carefully suggested.
"You think so?"
Kyungmin's opinion meant a lot to me. And somehow I thought he was right. I shouldn't waste my time on someone lying to me. But I wasn't ready to give up on Hansol just yet. He had been so sweet and smart. I didn't want to lose him already. I somehow thought that maybe I should give him a chance to explain himself. To tell me what was going on. I should confront him.
"Thank you.", I said. I already felt a lot better after talking to him. And I was glad that he didn't say 'see, I told you so'. That was the last thing that I needed right now.
"I'm always here for you.", he said and carefully stroke over my back.
"Tell me about your date.", I then said.
"It was okay.", Kyungmin said.
"Just okay?", I gasped.
"We decided to not see each other again."
"What do you mean?" What on earth was he saying? Chanmi was just gorgeous. How could he not want to see her again.
"It just doesn't work out.", he said and his eyes sparkled at me.
"That makes me so sad.", I said and made a face.
"It's fine.", he said. And a hint of sadness took that sparkle away.
Soo Young: Hey
I didn't really know how to start off. And I didn't know what exactly I wanted to tell him, how I should confront him. I didn't want to sound like a crazy person accusing him of lying. But I couldn't carry on like nothing had happened.
Hansol: Hey
Of course Hansol was confused by my message. After I had left him behind in the restaurant, I suddenly made a move and talked to him. He probably didn't expect me to message him again. At least not so soon.
But actually there was Jimin sitting on his phone, quite confused. Even more confused than the real Hansol I'd say. Because he didn't know what had happened. He didn't know I ran off.
Soo Young: I kinda need to talk to you about something.
Hansol: Sure, go ahead.
Soo Young: I may sound crazy, but I just have to get this off my chest.
Hansol: Don't worry :) You can talk to me about anything.
That was the Hansol I knew. Sweet and caring. There was just something different to him when we messaged. Was it really just nervousness or was he, like Kyungmin said, just more eloquent when he was texting?!
Soo Young: Today was kind of strange to be honest. I mean I was glad that it was actually you in the sense of you are the guy on the pictures but there were just things that threw me off.
Soo Young: Sorry I just ran away like that...
As you can imagine Jimin was now somewhat shocked. And he was scared at the same time that everything he had carefully built was falling apart already. Even before he got the chance to come clean.
Hansol: Don't worry about it. You can talk to me.
I took a deep breath. I didn't know what I could expect. And there was no easy way of talking about this. I had to confront him. I had to be bold. And that was certainly not one of my strengths.
Soo Young: So you told me you didn't attend military service yet. But today there was this moment when you said 'when I was in military'... That actually really confused me.
-
"Shit...", Jimin cursed. He threw his phone into a pillow and tore his hair in anger.
"What happened now?", Taehyung asked. He was in the kitchen getting a glass of water.
"He screwed it up.", Jimin complained.
"Hansol did?", Taehyung asked with a weird grin on his lips.
"Yes.", Jimin sighed. He didn't know what to reply now. Because he didn't know what had been going on. He needed to contact Hansol first. So there wouldn't be any more inconsistencies in their story.
"What did he do?", Taehyung kept asking.
"I don't know yet. But Soo Young just messaged me and told me that she needed to talk to me."
"Oh oh.", Taehyung confirmed that this couldn't mean any good.
"She said Hansol talked about his military days where I had told here I didn't attend yet."
"Oh boy.", Taehyung sighed. He knew Jimin needed him now and stayed by his friend's side.
Jimin dialed Hansol's number. But he didn't pick up.
"But didn't you go over the details with him before?"
"I did.", Jimin said. "But I guess he just forgot or something."
"I don't think he did it on purpose.", Taehyung nodded.
"I don't think so too. I should've talked over every little detail. I basically told him to be himself and just leave out a few things here and there. I thought since he knew me, he would know what to leave out, you know."
"I guess you should've pretended to be him all the way."
"You should've been yourself.", Jungkook suddenly joined the conversation.
"How long have you been standing there?", Taehyung asked in surprise.
"Long enough to know that I was right I you were wrong.", he said. His face was serious. "I told you don't lie to her. Why would you think you could get away with that. You will lose her."
Jimin looked at his friend and member with pain in his eyes. He was mad at himself for lying. But at the same time he would've done it again. He was torn between what was right and what was wrong.
"You really like her, don't you?", Jungkook asked. "And she seems to be real since Hansol didn't get back to you yet. I guess he would've called you right away if it wasn't her."
Jimin slowly nodded.
"Call her, tell her it is you.", Jungkook said.
Taehyung didn't know what to think of this. He could understand both sides.
"I can't.", Jimin said whispering. He looked like his entire life had come to an end. It was obvious that he was suffering.
"You have to. If you continue this lie you will make it worse and worse.", Jungkook explained.
"He has a point.", Taehyung supported his idea.
"I know.", Jimin quietly said. He looked like he was about to cry.
"Don't even look at me like that.", Jungkook said and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You should've known better. You knew what consequences it could have. And now we are here, worst case scenario."
"You said she will eventually understand, right?", Taehyung asked Jimin.
Jimin nodded. He was holding back his tears and wasn't able to speak.
"Maybe you should really tell her.", he said.
"Let me tell you something.", Jungkook said. "I get why you lied. Really, I get it. But you made sure, she is who she says she is. She isn't some crazy fan, she doesn't sound like a crazy person at all. She is a real human being. With feelings and all. If you continue to lie, she won't be able to forgive you. If you tell her now, you probably have a fair chance that she will understand. She even asked you out, she is interested in you. Don't waste this opportunity right now."
"Woah, when did you become so smart?", Taehyung gaped.
Jungkook didn't pay any attention to Taehyung but kept Jimin in his focus.
Jimin knew Jungkook was probably right. But it was one thing to tell someone to be honest and another to actually be the person who had to admit they were lying.
-
Hansol: I don't really know what to say right now. But I want to explain everything to you.
So there actually was something to explain. His words scared me.
Hansol: Can we meet again? I don't want to discuss this on the phone.
It took him a lot of courage to say that. I swallowed down the lump inside my throat. I was even more scared than before. He was hiding something. I didn't know if I was ready for this kind of conversation with him. So far everything had been like a dream. He was that handsome, smart, funny and sweet guy. He was perfect. So I thought. But of course there had to be something to him. Nobody was perfect after all. There had to be something wrong with him. I had hoped that it would be a weird thing, maybe he liked dogs more than cats or he liked mint flavored ice cream. Why did it have to be something so serious and scary that we even had to have a conversation about it?!
I sighed. Dating wasn't easy. Maybe I shouldn't date at all. People were so complicated. I was fine on my on up until now. Suddenly I had so many feelings, so many ups and downs and I had to be all serious and concerned and... heart broken?
Hansol had made it so easy for me to fall for him. I was vulnerable. I opened up to him and let him in. And now I had to live with the comeback. Maybe I had been naive to believe he was the one? I felt like I couldn't follow my heart. I had to follow my brain. Following my heart only gave me pain.
If you didn't know by now, I wasn't really the romantic type of person. I didn't look for Prince Charming, I wasn't searching for Mr. Right, I didn't like romance and I knew that those guys in the movies weren't real. Guys like that didn't exist. So I wasn't here alone waiting for that movie-like guy to suddenly appear and prove me wrong. Some people might call me negative. But I thought of myself as realistic.
I had thrown all my principles away when meeting Hansol. Although he seemed like that perfect guy from one of these movies, I didn't want to see the warning signals. I ignored them and I guess, for a moment, I believed I had been wrong all my life and guys like that did actually exist.
It felt like it was the end. Our story was short and had come to and end already. I didn't know yet what he was about to tell me when we would meet. But I felt like it would be something that would destroy my trust in him. My heart was telling me that he was a genuine person. But my brain told me there was something awfully wrong with him and I had to keep my distance to not be absorbed by him.
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