I was nervous as hell, especially after Hansol told me where he would like to meet. It was a little far from my house, all the way in Gangnam at the Hanriver. Sure, it was a romantic place. But even more it was a dark and rather deserted place. There mostly were some people around but of course not as many as in a movie theater. So it scared me a little why he wanted to meet up there.
„I thought you decided to not meet him again.", Kyungmin furrowed.
„You suggested that, but I didn't decide on that.", I replied while munching a choco bar.
Kyungmin sighed: „I really don't get why you're doing this."
I looked at him. I felt like he wasn't too pleased that I was meeting up with Hansol another time.
„I thought you kinda liked him.", I stated.
„I think I never said that.", Kyungmin responded and rose an eyebrow looking at me as if I had lost my mind.
I shrugged my shoulders trying to not let him know how nervous this made me.
„Where will you meet?", he wanted to know.
„Not that it's any of your business, but we will meet at Hanriver. He sent me a location on kakaotalk."
I fished my phone out of my pocket and held it in front of Kyungmin's face.
„Why on earth does he want to meet you there?", he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders yet again. I knew it was somewhat fishy...
„I don't think you should go there all by yourself.", Kyungmin said and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
„Then what are you suggesting? That I take you with me on my date?", I replied.
„For example.", Kyungmin said as if it was the most normal thing to say.
„Not gonna happen.", I said.
„I could hide somewhere.“
„Don't be ridiculous. He just wants to be alone with me to talk in private. There is obviously something that he didn't tell me before."
„And that doesn't make you scared? That dude is weird as hell."
„Hey, don't call him 'that dude' or 'weird'.", I spat.
Kyungmin looked at me with something inside his eyes that I couldn't read. It looked like disappointment but with a hint of anger. I decided not to think about his look too much. I wasn't some mind reader, if he needed to say something, he could just do it.
„Anyways, I'm going to head out now.", I said and pushed all my nervousness down. I wanted to seem confident in front of Kyungmin. He didn't need to know that I was crazy scared.
„Now?", he gasped.
„Of course now. When else would I meet him."
„It's too late."
„Oh, don't be a pussy.", I said and with that I left Kyungmin and the convenient store behind me.
-
„Are you really gonna tell her it is you?", Taehyung asked while Jimin was getting dressed and had changed his shirt for the sixth time.
„I have to.", he said while obviously not liking that idea.
„I think that's a great idea.", Jungkook said who leaned at the door and watched Jimin.
„Why exactly are you all here right now?", Jimin asked. He was already nervous and the two of them didn't really help with that.
„Because it's fun.", Taehyung giggled.
„Great that my misery can cause you guys fun.“, he grinned sarcastically.
„Oh, don‘t be so sarcastic. I think everything will go fine.“, Taehyung said to calm his friend down.
„Guys, I have some bad news.“, Jungkook said who had his phone in his hands, staring at the screen.
„What now?“, Jimin sighed. Nothing was ever going as planned for him lately.
„Sejin wants to meet.“, Jungkook said and showed them his screen, where their maneger had asked for them to come right away.
„Why now?“, Jimin complained.
Taehyung was out of words. He felt bad for Jimin. He knew confessing to me was a huge deal to him and it must‘ve been nerve wrecking to tell me to meet him and it wasn‘t even much time left until we were supposed to meet and now Sejin out of all people wanted to meet them.
„He says it‘s about some variety show.“
„And that can‘t wait until tomorrow? I‘m actually awfully busy at the moment.“, Jimin said. His heart was racing like crazy.
„I‘m afraid it can‘t.“, Jungkook said, taking responsibility by talking some sense into Jimin‘s head.
Jimin looked as if he was about to cry.
„Look, maybe he won‘t take long and then you can still go meet her.“
-
I was standing at the meeting point for quite a while before Hansol finally showed up.
I had been waiting for so long, that my nervousness had eventually faded into anger. But when I saw him a weird wave of relief captured me. I couldn‘t explain why I was relieved to see him. There was just something about him that I couldn‘t let go, that I was holding onto. The best proof of that being me showing up to this late meeting somewhere and Hangang which took me almost an hour to reach.
„Hi there.“, Hansol said and shyly approached.
„Hey.“, I replied.
We were awkwardly standing there. Neither of us said a word.
I didn‘t know what to say. After all it was him who wanted to talk to me. So he should be the one starting this conversation.
Hansol nervously looked around as if he was searching for something or someone.
„Aren‘t you gonna say something?“, I asked then.
That first feeling of relief had disappeared as soon as I heard him speak. Maybe I was paranoid but even his ‚Hi‘ sounded off. It didn‘t sound like the Hansol I knew. I was definetly going crazy...
„Huh?“, he went.
„You said there was something you wanted to talk to me about.“, I said.
„Right.“, he said. He wiped his wet hands on this pants. I didn‘t know why he was so nervous.
„Are you alright?“, I asked because he started to worry me.
He quickly nodded and again screened the surroundings. I followed his eyes and was wondering what he was looking for.
„So?“, I pressured him. I didn‘t have all night after all. What could‘ve been so hard that he wouldn‘t start talking?!
„Can we wait a little more?“, he asked me.
Now I was totally confused. „Wait for what?“, I wanted to know.
Hansol sighed deeply. He shook his head and seemed desperate.
„What is going on?“, I asked. But I wouldn‘t receive an answer as suddenly some girl approached.
„Hansol?“, she yelled and seemed really angry.
„Dayhun?“, he looked shocked.
„So it was you after all.“, she angrily said. She was glaring at me for a moment, crossing her arms over her chest. „How long have you been going behind my back?“, she wanted to know.
„It‘s not at all what it seems like.“, Hansol tried to explain.
„My friend told me that you went to the movies with some girl. I didn‘t want to believe her. I didn‘t think you were a cheater. After all those years.“
„I am not a cheater.“, Hansol quickly said and wanted to approach her. But she backed off immedietely.
„Then what is this? Aren‘t you on a date with her?“, she said and nodded into my direction.
I was a little taken aback. Was I supposed to say something?
„No, I‘m not.“, Hansol said.
„You are not?“, I heard myself asking. Suddenly it felt like my dream of Hansol was crumbling and falling apart. „Is that what you wanted to tell me? That you have a girlfriend?“
„No that‘s not it either.“, Hansol replied.
„Hansol, explain to me what are you doing with her here, if it‘s not a date.“, Dahyun demanded.
„Can‘t we wait for a little longer?“, Hansol asked and checked his phone.
„And then what?“, Dahyun yelled. „Tell me right now.“
„What is going on here?“, a voice interrupted us.
„Who are you?“, Dahyun asked no other than Kyungmin who approached the scene.“
„Did you follow me here?“, I wanted to know.
Hansol just sighed. He was exhausted from all the fuss. He wanted Jimin to finally show up and clear things up.
„Are you here boyfriend?“, Dahyun asked him. „Did she cheat on you too?“
„No, I‘m not.“, Kyungmin replied. „Hansol what the heck is going on?“, he wanted to know now too.
„I want to know, too.“, Dahyun said.
„Everybody stop talking now.“, Hansol yelled.
We all looked at him with great expectations. We all had unanswered questions and we all were waiting for Hansol to answer them.
„Dahyun, please believe me, I didn‘t cheat on you. I went to the movies with Soo Young, yes, but I can explain why.“
„Oh I am waiting for that explanation. And it better be good, or else you can call yourself single again.“, Dahyun said.
„Go on dude.“, Kyungmin said. He was standing next to me as if he was trying to protect me. I still didn‘t know if I should‘ve been mad or not. Somehow he was ridiculous for following me but I could see that he was just trying to take care of me.
„I was helping a friend.“, he said.
„What friend?“, Dahyun immediately asked.
„Please, can you give me a second to put this into words?“, Hansol said a little angry. „There is no easy way to put this.“, he then started. „Soo Young, I am not he person you have been talking to on the phone.“, he ripped the bandaid off.
I was shocked. So I had been correct. He wasn‘t the same person after all. Should I be mad or relieved? I didn‘t know. I liked the online version of Hansol way better, but I didn‘t even know who the real Hansol was then.
„And I am supposed to believe that?“, Dahyun asked.
„Soo Young, can you please show her the messages? I‘m really sorry and I will explain as much as I can, but I don‘t want to lose my relationship over this.“, he said with a sad and begging tone in his voice.
So I took my phone out and opened the messages. I handed my phone to Dahyun and so did Hansol.
„You really didn‘t talk to her.“, Dahyun confirmed. She was much more calmer now. „But why did you meet her? Who were you helping?“
„My friend called me the other day and asked me to help him. He is in a complicated situation right now, so I agreed to help him. I was just supposed to see if Soo Young is really who she claimed she was. After that he wanted to tell her everything. But Soo Young quickly got suspicious of things and everything got more complicated. He wanted to show up tonight and tell you everything.“
I didn‘t really know what to say. And Kyungmin also seemed out of words.
„Who is that friend you are talking about? And why isn‘t he here yet?“, Dahyun asked.
„I want to know too, who is him?“, I said.
„His name is Jimin.“, Hansol said.
„Jimin, as in...“, Dahyun gasped in surprise. A quick look from Hansol didn‘t let her finish her sentence. „Now I get it. But why didn‘t you tell me?“
„Could you please discuss your relationship a little later?“, Kyungmin interrupted them. „There is still someone here who deserves to know the truth about that guy, who apparently stood her up. And moreover I think she would like to know why he‘s creating such a mystery around his persona.“
„It‘s really not my place to tell you about him.“ Hansol said. „He should tell you himself.“
„But why isn‘t he here?“, Kyungmin asked.
„He said he would come. I don‘t know anything else. I haven‘t heard from him.“
That explained why Hansol was looking around for someone and kept checking his phone throughout the conversation. We were actually waiting for that Jimin person to come. I didn‘t know how I felt about this. Jimin. Who was he? I felt a little betrayed. He let me meet up with a person who I believed was him. He even pretended to look like him on his kakaotalk. It was all so fishy and so weird.
„I know this looks really bad. But he is really not a bad person. He is just really shy, I guess.“, Hansol tried to defend Jimin as he could sense that I wasn‘t so happy at the moment. „He is a really careful person and I know it wasn‘t the best way to treat you, but I can assure you he really cares about you.“
„If he would care so much, I think he would‘ve shown up by now.“, Kyungmin said with a annoyed look on his face. „Isn‘t that right, Soo Young?“, he blinked at me.
I didn‘t know what to think nor what to reply. I guess somehow he was correct. This Jimin guy didn‘t even bother to show up. How much could he really care about me. And furthermore, if he really cared, why put me through all of this? Just because he was shy? That didn‘t seem to be the entire story behind this. There had to be more. I was shy too. And yet I didn‘t hide behind one of my friends pictures or even sent them to meet him.
I shook my head. „I‘m actually really confused now.“, I said. „And I think I want to go home.“
„Let‘s go then.“, Kyungmin said.
„Thank you for telling me part of the story.“, I said to Hansol.
„Again, I‘m really sorry for how things went. I didn‘t want to lead you on. I didn‘t really want to be part of any of this. I was just trying to help my friend, as he seemed to have really good intentions. And I still believe that he actually does care about you and came to like you, otherwise he wouldn‘t have done such a thing.“, Hansol said.
I nodded. That also made some sense. In a way.
Kyungmin and I left. I was glad he was here. I didn‘t know how I would‘ve handled all that by myself.
It didn‘t take long and my feelings overwhelmed me and I started crying. For a moment I regretted ever leaving my safe internet world, where I couldn‘t get hurt, or at least not to this extent. I was still wondering what was it, that I was supposed to learn from this? To never trust guys you meet online? I didn‘t know.
Kyungmin wrapped his arm around me, as we were walking to the subway station.
„Do you want to take a taxi?“, he asked me.
I shook my head: „That‘s way to expensive.“
Kyungmin chuckled and then went to grab us a taxi as he didn‘t want me to be crying on the subway for an entire hour.
-
A bunch of texts reached Jimin when he was in the middle of the meeting with Sejin, their manager.
Jimin got nervous. When Hansol texted so much, something had to be gone wrong. And he couldn‘t handle anything more going wrong.
„Can you please excuse me for a second?“, Jimin asked and got off his chair. He grabbed his phone from the table and wanted to leave the room as quickly as possible.
„Jimin, we are in the middle of something here?!“, Sejin asked confused.
„I know and I am sorry, but I have some really urgent matter right now and I know you won‘t be able to understand but this talk about that show can wait for another 10 minutes. I just have to resolve this right now.“, Jimin replied and with that left his members and Sejin behind.
Sejin seemed confused and looked at Jungkook and Taehyung for answers. But they both just shrugged their shoulders and pretended to not know at all about what was going on.
„I‘m sorry Jimin, I couldn‘t make her wait any longer. My girlfriend showed up and everything got out of hand. I had to tell her it wasn‘t me. I didn‘t tell her who you were, just your name. She left with that guy who was at the double date. I don‘t know what‘s going on between them, but I think you should be quick to talk to her, before it‘s too late.“, was Hansol‘s last message.
„Sh**“, Jimin sighed. He punched against a wall.
„Jimin, are you alright?“, Jungkook peeked out the door asking.
„No.“, Jimin shook his head. „I‘m not. I blew my chance. She left and Hansol told her it‘s all been a lie.“
Jungkook sighed. „You really like her, don‘t you?“
Jimin didn‘t even need to answer for Jungkook to know how serious he was about me. He had never behaved like this in all those years.
„Why don‘t you call her now, talk to her, try to go see her?“, Jungkook suggested.
„But...“, Jimin wanted to say.
Jungkook interrupted him: „I will take care of it. I will tell Sejin some excuse, why you had to leave. Just go and get her.“
„Thank you.“
And with that Jimin ran off.
„Isn‘t Jimin coming back?“, Sejin asked when Jungkook went back into the room.
„He wasn‘t feeling well. I think he has to really urgently meet the toilet.“, Jungkook said.
„Is he gonna be alright?“, Sejin asked worridly.
„Don‘t worry. We just made a bet who can finish a bag of chips the fastest and his stomach doesn‘t seem to like that very much.“, Taehyung lied.
„Right, we were eating chips like crazy just before you called.“
Sejin shook his head. „Alright then. But call me later if he needs to go to the hospital.“
„Ah, I don‘t think it‘s that serious.“, Jungkook said.
When Jimin finally reached the outside of the building, he immediately took his other phone from his pocket and clicked on my contact to call. He didn‘t even know what actually made him call me right away. It was an act of desperation. There was nothing else left to do.
I was still on the taxi when I suddenly got that call.
I was staring at the display that said Hansol‘s name. But it wasn‘t Hansol who was calling, it was Jimin. It had to be him. I didn‘t want to take the call. I was too afraid of who would await me on the other end of the line. Though I was too curious and without even really noticing, I automatically took the call.
„Hello?“, I said.
„Soo Young?“, I had an unfamilar voice.
„Yes?“
„Please don‘t hang up.“, he said and seemed out of breath. His voice was making my heart beat faster. He had this beautiful, melodic voice, that almost made me lose my mind.
Kyungmin looked at me. I knew he would be against me talking to Jimin. But I had to do what I had to do. I needed my closure.
„Can I meet you?“, he asked.
„Now?“, I asked back.
I saw how Kyungmin‘s jaw stiffened.
„I know it is late. Something unexpectedly came up and I couldn‘t make it. But I really need to see you.“
I didn‘t reply.
„Please? Please give me one last chance to explain everything to you.“
I sighed. I wanted to give him a chance more than anything. Because after all, I still had feelings for him. It was weird, right? How could I fall for a liar. But what was I supposed to do against my feelings. I couldn‘t switch them off.
„I will come wherever you want me to come.“
I was thinking of a place to meet.
„Can you come to Baekseok? There is a Dunkin Donuts at the corner of the station.“
Kyungmin‘s eyes again pierced me. I avoided his gaze.
„Okay, sure.“, Jimin said and he was relieved that I agreed to meet him.
„You are not really going to see that guy?!“, Kyungmin asked after I hung up and shook his head.
„You don‘t have to understand.“, I just said.
„How long am I supposed to protect you from these things?“, he wanted to know. He seemed mad, as expected.
„I never asked you to protect me.“, I replied. I didn‘t have the capacity for a talk like this now. Sometimes Kyungmin‘s behavior was really strange to me. This protective side of him, I didn‘t really know where that came from. Don‘t get me wrong, I was happy to have him. I was happy that he felt responsible for me, that he wanted to protect me. Just sometimes I didn‘t understand what made him do it. What made him follow me around. What even made him continue our friendship. Sometimes I felt like he was always the one giving and I was taking, taking, taking.
I quickly shook my head to free my mind from these thoughts. I had other things to deal with right now. There was no place for Kyungmin right now.
I told the taxi driver to let me off at Dunkin Donuts and I told Kyungmin not to come, but to go home and get some rest.
He left and I went inside the store to wait for Jimin.
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