„Miss Monteverde.“, a deep voice sounded in Aleksas head. She looked up startled. The Classroom was murmuring.
„I would be overly pleased if you could follow my lessons.“
„I’m sorry, Professor Lightwood.“, Aleksa Monteverde uttered. Proffesser Lightwood sighed compassionately, gave her a smile and continued his class.
Professer Lightwood was an understanding man. He had let Aleksa get away with quite a bit in the past. She hasn’t been in the academy in Idris for a long time yet and she had taken a while until she was even able to attend to some classes. Of course, the Silent Brothers had helped her but nobody could take the actual pain from her and she had to deal with that all by herself.
After the end of class Aleska poked along the hallways of the academy. The ceilings were high, the building marvellous. Dark wood paneling seamed the walls, the floor was of shining marble and the chandeliers at the ceilings suffused everything with a wondrous, golden light. Under different circumstances Aleksa would have found the academy wonderful but at the moment she didn’t regard it.
Aleksa Monteverde walked up the steep staircase that lead to the corridor where the girls have had their dorms. The door to Aleksas room was only ajar. Behind it she heard excited girl’s voices. She paused for a moment, braced herself for the looks that would stab her the minute she would walk into the room.
Elodie Herondale stood in front of the window which directed to the vast curtilage. She flinched a little as Aleksa entered the dorm and stared at her seeming surprised. She darted a confused glance at her collocutor Moira Blackthorn, who then left the room immediately. Aleksa went to the soft bed, which stood in one corner of the dorm, and looked through the window-front. Outside the wind blew some leaves through the air. The branches were bare and the usually green curtilage was dull with faded brown- and yellowtones.
„Leksi, is everything alright?“, Elodie asked in this moment. Aleksa looked at her calmly and struggled for a nod, which wasn’t really working out though. She knew that Elodie didn’t really want to share a dorm with her and would rather stay together with Moira. Aleksa didn’t chose this but nevertheless she felt responsible. However Elodie had always been friendly since she arrived, for what Leksi was very thankful.
Elodie sat next to her on the bed so that Leksi could feel her warmth.
„You will make it.“, she whispered and stroked her roomate over the back.
A gong resounded through the building and went under Leksis skin.
„Come on already. Class is about to start.“ pulled Elodie her off of the bed right into the long corridor.
Later that day Leksi sat in the library. This room had been her safe haven over the last weeks. She hid behind the shelfs with the books over lycanthropy in the very back of the huge room. Nobody would come here or even look for her here.
Lost in thought she browzed through one of the books. Automatically she ran over the spot above her chest close to her shoulder, where her parabatairune had been once. She persuaded herself the faded rune, whose contours discolored from black to a light silver, would burn as soon as she would touch it. But in reality she felt nothing at all. She’d rather feel pain though, because it would be a proof that Annabeth was still there somewhere. However she didn’t feel a thing since her death. Still those atrocious images would pop into her head. Two slashed bodies hanging on a street light in Jarry Park.
„That’s exactly why we don’t get involved with mundanes.“, Helen had said.
That night Leksi had started from her sleep, felt a sharp pain in her chest. She was screaming, flailing around franticly. At first she’d thought she got attacked, but there had been nobody in her room in the institute of Montreal.
The fabric of her white nightgown colored red and when Leksi pulled the fabric away she saw blood running from her parabatairune. Instinctively scalding tears pushed in her eyes. For a moment she sat there like glued to the spot. After that she felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Helen rushed into the room, together with Aline and Cedrick. Leksi had babbled absurd words. Helen was the first to notice that Leksi wasn’t hurt and something apparently had to be wrong with Annabeth. Immediately she sent Cedrick to check for her. For Leksi it seemed like forever until Cedrick came back into the room, completely out of breath, stammeringly telling that Annabeth had not been in her dorm.
„Where is she?“, Helen screamed at Leksi and shook her by the shoulders. „Jarry Park.“, Leksi had gasped. Helen swirled around, Leksi put on her shadowhunter gear and together they raced over to the nearby Jarry Park. Leksi knew it the entire time. Annabeth wasn’t with her anymore.
„I would be overly pleased if you could follow my lessons.“
„I’m sorry, Professor Lightwood.“, Aleksa Monteverde uttered. Proffesser Lightwood sighed compassionately, gave her a smile and continued his class.
Professer Lightwood was an understanding man. He had let Aleksa get away with quite a bit in the past. She hasn’t been in the academy in Idris for a long time yet and she had taken a while until she was even able to attend to some classes. Of course, the Silent Brothers had helped her but nobody could take the actual pain from her and she had to deal with that all by herself.
After the end of class Aleska poked along the hallways of the academy. The ceilings were high, the building marvellous. Dark wood paneling seamed the walls, the floor was of shining marble and the chandeliers at the ceilings suffused everything with a wondrous, golden light. Under different circumstances Aleksa would have found the academy wonderful but at the moment she didn’t regard it.
Aleksa Monteverde walked up the steep staircase that lead to the corridor where the girls have had their dorms. The door to Aleksas room was only ajar. Behind it she heard excited girl’s voices. She paused for a moment, braced herself for the looks that would stab her the minute she would walk into the room.
Elodie Herondale stood in front of the window which directed to the vast curtilage. She flinched a little as Aleksa entered the dorm and stared at her seeming surprised. She darted a confused glance at her collocutor Moira Blackthorn, who then left the room immediately. Aleksa went to the soft bed, which stood in one corner of the dorm, and looked through the window-front. Outside the wind blew some leaves through the air. The branches were bare and the usually green curtilage was dull with faded brown- and yellowtones.
„Leksi, is everything alright?“, Elodie asked in this moment. Aleksa looked at her calmly and struggled for a nod, which wasn’t really working out though. She knew that Elodie didn’t really want to share a dorm with her and would rather stay together with Moira. Aleksa didn’t chose this but nevertheless she felt responsible. However Elodie had always been friendly since she arrived, for what Leksi was very thankful.
Elodie sat next to her on the bed so that Leksi could feel her warmth.
„You will make it.“, she whispered and stroked her roomate over the back.
A gong resounded through the building and went under Leksis skin.
„Come on already. Class is about to start.“ pulled Elodie her off of the bed right into the long corridor.
Later that day Leksi sat in the library. This room had been her safe haven over the last weeks. She hid behind the shelfs with the books over lycanthropy in the very back of the huge room. Nobody would come here or even look for her here.
Lost in thought she browzed through one of the books. Automatically she ran over the spot above her chest close to her shoulder, where her parabatairune had been once. She persuaded herself the faded rune, whose contours discolored from black to a light silver, would burn as soon as she would touch it. But in reality she felt nothing at all. She’d rather feel pain though, because it would be a proof that Annabeth was still there somewhere. However she didn’t feel a thing since her death. Still those atrocious images would pop into her head. Two slashed bodies hanging on a street light in Jarry Park.
„That’s exactly why we don’t get involved with mundanes.“, Helen had said.
That night Leksi had started from her sleep, felt a sharp pain in her chest. She was screaming, flailing around franticly. At first she’d thought she got attacked, but there had been nobody in her room in the institute of Montreal.
The fabric of her white nightgown colored red and when Leksi pulled the fabric away she saw blood running from her parabatairune. Instinctively scalding tears pushed in her eyes. For a moment she sat there like glued to the spot. After that she felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Helen rushed into the room, together with Aline and Cedrick. Leksi had babbled absurd words. Helen was the first to notice that Leksi wasn’t hurt and something apparently had to be wrong with Annabeth. Immediately she sent Cedrick to check for her. For Leksi it seemed like forever until Cedrick came back into the room, completely out of breath, stammeringly telling that Annabeth had not been in her dorm.
„Where is she?“, Helen screamed at Leksi and shook her by the shoulders. „Jarry Park.“, Leksi had gasped. Helen swirled around, Leksi put on her shadowhunter gear and together they raced over to the nearby Jarry Park. Leksi knew it the entire time. Annabeth wasn’t with her anymore.
A dark-haired young man walked into the library. He greeted Madame Agatha, the head of the library, who then waved at him happily. Also some of the other shadowhunters darted him nice glances. He wandered through the narrow shelfs of the large room. At times he took a closer look on one of the books, but then he slashed himself a path to the backmost angle of the library. He suddenly stopped right when he came around the last shelf and wonderingly observed the blonde girl sitting on his regular seat, the knees tucked up to her chest, with an open book next to her on the tray.
„I knew someone would steal my place, as soon as I would be gone for a while.“, he smiled and wiped some hair off of his forehead.
Leksi rose astonished and flattened her sweater.
„I’m sorry, I didn’t know…“, she stuttered and looked at him bashfully.
„No, no, you don’t have to apologize. It’s actually not really my seat.“, he laughed at Leksi at got closer to her.
„I am Blake. Blake Pangborn. I’ve never seen you around, could that be?“
Blake was also wearing an academy sweater. The blue tone of it didn’t match his deep green eyes, Leksi thought.
„I am Aleksa Monteverde.“, she answered and shook his provided hand. For a wink he seemed quite thoughtful, but then the smile came back onto his face.
„I have to admit, now that I hear your name, I know who you are.“, he said. Leksi feared something like that already. Her story spread like a fire through the entire academy. She would always be the frightened and benighted girl, the Silent Brothers stood next to day after day. Leksi tried not to show her disappointment. Blake portended her not to move from the spot and vanished behind the dark book shelf. But before Leksi could even ask herself, where he’d gone off to, he appeared again. This time with a chair in his hand, placing it on the other side of the tray. When Blake slumped onto the chair, Leksi sat down too and looked at him curiously. His skin had the color of a walnut shell, his darkgreen eyes were seamed by a dark row of long lashes. His lips didn’t contrast of the rest of his skin color and his hair was so dark it looked like it was soaked in ink. Only when he moved the dimmed light covered it with a golden shimmer that was an indicative of his hair being actually brown, not black.
„May I ask you something?!“ he interrupted her thoughts. In his glance lay something Leksi couldn’t read. He looked at her pervasive. His hands were folded on the table. On one finger Leksi could identify his family ring. A silver ring with a curved „P“.
„How does it feel?“, he wanted to know. Leksi looked at him confused.
„How does what feel?!“, she answered quietly almost whispering.
For a moment it was silent. The corners of Blakes mouth twitched slightly and his jaw musculature tensed.
„To loose one’s parabatai… what do you feel?“
Leksi held his glance and thought feverish of what she should answer. Until now nobody had asked her something like that and now she didn’t have the matching words to express the emptiness and the pain.
„It is…“, she started her sentence. Blake leaned in curiously. „…like you aren’t yourself anymore. Like you grope in the darkness looking for oneself, but aren’t able to find it, ever.“
„Did it hurt?“ Blake asked with a calm voice.
Leksi nodded. „It still does. Every day. It is an unbearable pain and at the same time I feel numb.“ Tears flooded her eyes and she lowered her head. Carefully Blake reached out for her hand. Leksi looked at him astonished.
„I am honestly sorry.“, he said and set her hand free. „If there’s anything I can do…“, he began. Leksi shook her head quickly. There wasn’t anything anyone could have done.
„I need to go now.“, she said and rose from the chair. Blake stopped her when she had almost disappeared behind the corner: „Do we see each other at dinner?“ Leksi stood still and turned around to look at him.
„That’d be great.“, she replied and struggled for a smile. A warm shiver overcame her, when Blake responded with a smile.
The last weeks she had been eating in her room alone by herself. She hated to sit in one classroom with all the others and to share the same corridors. She didn’t want to tolerate them at dinner and at least they haven’t denied that wish. Actually Leksi didn’t feel like entering the large diningroom now either but in some ways Blake gave her courage. Probably without him even knowing. Only a few more weeks until winterbreak and Leksi hoped she would be able to go back to the institute in Montreal then.
When it was about time for dinner, Leksi left her room. She walked over the burgundy colored carpet that covered the entire marble floor, down the winding staircase and through the corridor which led right into the foyer where the dining room was abut on. She got a queasy feeling at the door. Sie wasn’t at all a shy person. The feeling spreading in her stomach area didn’t have anything to do with that. It was more an anticipation. Some other students shoved themselves past Leksi looking at her distracted. Leksi was able to catch a quick look into the inward of the hall and tried to espy Blake. She was searching for a dark, shaggy head of hair. She hated it to enter any room searching for someone. Nevertheless she couldn’t wait in front of the door forever.
„I knew someone would steal my place, as soon as I would be gone for a while.“, he smiled and wiped some hair off of his forehead.
Leksi rose astonished and flattened her sweater.
„I’m sorry, I didn’t know…“, she stuttered and looked at him bashfully.
„No, no, you don’t have to apologize. It’s actually not really my seat.“, he laughed at Leksi at got closer to her.
„I am Blake. Blake Pangborn. I’ve never seen you around, could that be?“
Blake was also wearing an academy sweater. The blue tone of it didn’t match his deep green eyes, Leksi thought.
„I am Aleksa Monteverde.“, she answered and shook his provided hand. For a wink he seemed quite thoughtful, but then the smile came back onto his face.
„I have to admit, now that I hear your name, I know who you are.“, he said. Leksi feared something like that already. Her story spread like a fire through the entire academy. She would always be the frightened and benighted girl, the Silent Brothers stood next to day after day. Leksi tried not to show her disappointment. Blake portended her not to move from the spot and vanished behind the dark book shelf. But before Leksi could even ask herself, where he’d gone off to, he appeared again. This time with a chair in his hand, placing it on the other side of the tray. When Blake slumped onto the chair, Leksi sat down too and looked at him curiously. His skin had the color of a walnut shell, his darkgreen eyes were seamed by a dark row of long lashes. His lips didn’t contrast of the rest of his skin color and his hair was so dark it looked like it was soaked in ink. Only when he moved the dimmed light covered it with a golden shimmer that was an indicative of his hair being actually brown, not black.
„May I ask you something?!“ he interrupted her thoughts. In his glance lay something Leksi couldn’t read. He looked at her pervasive. His hands were folded on the table. On one finger Leksi could identify his family ring. A silver ring with a curved „P“.
„How does it feel?“, he wanted to know. Leksi looked at him confused.
„How does what feel?!“, she answered quietly almost whispering.
For a moment it was silent. The corners of Blakes mouth twitched slightly and his jaw musculature tensed.
„To loose one’s parabatai… what do you feel?“
Leksi held his glance and thought feverish of what she should answer. Until now nobody had asked her something like that and now she didn’t have the matching words to express the emptiness and the pain.
„It is…“, she started her sentence. Blake leaned in curiously. „…like you aren’t yourself anymore. Like you grope in the darkness looking for oneself, but aren’t able to find it, ever.“
„Did it hurt?“ Blake asked with a calm voice.
Leksi nodded. „It still does. Every day. It is an unbearable pain and at the same time I feel numb.“ Tears flooded her eyes and she lowered her head. Carefully Blake reached out for her hand. Leksi looked at him astonished.
„I am honestly sorry.“, he said and set her hand free. „If there’s anything I can do…“, he began. Leksi shook her head quickly. There wasn’t anything anyone could have done.
„I need to go now.“, she said and rose from the chair. Blake stopped her when she had almost disappeared behind the corner: „Do we see each other at dinner?“ Leksi stood still and turned around to look at him.
„That’d be great.“, she replied and struggled for a smile. A warm shiver overcame her, when Blake responded with a smile.
The last weeks she had been eating in her room alone by herself. She hated to sit in one classroom with all the others and to share the same corridors. She didn’t want to tolerate them at dinner and at least they haven’t denied that wish. Actually Leksi didn’t feel like entering the large diningroom now either but in some ways Blake gave her courage. Probably without him even knowing. Only a few more weeks until winterbreak and Leksi hoped she would be able to go back to the institute in Montreal then.
When it was about time for dinner, Leksi left her room. She walked over the burgundy colored carpet that covered the entire marble floor, down the winding staircase and through the corridor which led right into the foyer where the dining room was abut on. She got a queasy feeling at the door. Sie wasn’t at all a shy person. The feeling spreading in her stomach area didn’t have anything to do with that. It was more an anticipation. Some other students shoved themselves past Leksi looking at her distracted. Leksi was able to catch a quick look into the inward of the hall and tried to espy Blake. She was searching for a dark, shaggy head of hair. She hated it to enter any room searching for someone. Nevertheless she couldn’t wait in front of the door forever.
„Leksi!“, a voice sounded in her ear. Leksi turned around startled and saw Elodie, who was watching her puzzled.
„What are you doing here? Come on, you can sit with us.“, she said kindly, still looking at her with that puzzled glance. Elodie got ready to pull Leksi into the hall. Exactly when Leksi wanted to protest, she was interrupted by Blake.
„I need to disappoint you. Aleksa has different plans tonight.“, he said with a big smile on his face and gently removed Elodies hand from Leksi’s arm. Elodie looked incredulously from Blake to Leksi and back. She pointed with her finger to and fro between them.
„You two…“, she stumpled.
„Maybe a different time.“, Leksi said, gave her a smile and walked into the dining room next to Blake. It didn’t seem to interest anyone, that she was here. A quite murmur was here and there to hear, but one was surprisingly paying their entire attention to Blake. He was greeted from almost everyone. He led Leksi to a table where a few where already sitting.
„Did you have a pleasant day?“, Blake asked when they were sitting towards eachother. Leksi nodded and looked around the large dining room. The hall was well-lit with many lights. In patches snowflakes fell againt the windowpanes.
„It started to snow.“, she was more talking to herself than telling Blake. He turned around to the window and looked back at Leksi.
„Snow really has something so peacefully, don’t you think?!“, he said.
„Probably because it looks so fluffy.“, she smiled and made Blake laugh.
A little later the dinner was served. Different types of veggies, noodles and rice were spread in earthenware dishes on the tables. Leksi didn’t have this much choosing by now. They had always brought her a plate with some left-overs. Blake was looking her straight in the eye. He hasn’t seen somebody with such an interesting character at the academy in a long time. Of course he found her stunningly beautiful with her skin like porcellain, her light hair and those blue eyes. But it was much more her specific charisma, that had casted a spell on him. Leksi seemed to be lost in thought, sending out an unbelievingly calmness. But at the same time her aura seemed to vibrate of anger and unrest. It was like she was blocking herself, like there was something in her that just waited to come out.
Blake was snatched from his thoughts when Leki looked at him quizzically.
„Hm?“, he asked and only now noticed that he overheard Leksi talking to him for quite a bit.
„I asked you if you liked your food.“, Leksi laughed.
„Oh ya, sure.“, he announced and stroke his hair out of his face.
„Maybe we could do something on the weekend?!“, he said. Leksi slowly shook her head.
„Except for memorising books in the library or counting the number of witchlights in the chandeliers, there’s nothing much more to do, right?!“
„But here in Idris are a lot of possibilities.“, Blake, who didn’t really get what she was going for, determined.
„I am not allowed to leave the academy.“, she said matte and concentrated on her broccoli.
„What did you just say? Why not?“, Blake asked dismayed.
„It seems like they think I would leave to Montreal.“, Leksi admitted and tried to sound as randomly as possible. For a moment it was completely silent.
„But it isn’t a solution to keep you here like a prisoner. You’re going back in winterbreak anyways, don’t you?“
Suddenly Leksi noticed that she wasn’t the only one thinking she wouldn’t be here that long anymore. A bad feeling creeped up on her and promptly she doubted that it would actually be like this.
„I hope so.“, Leksi confirmed. Sadness resonated in her voice.
„Why did they even send you here?“, Blake wanted to know.
„Out of sight, out of mind, I guess?!, Leksi answered. „I think they wanted me to calm down in a neutral surrounding. Plus they try everything to keep me out of the investigations.“
„Who? The Council?“, Blake questioned.
Leksi needed to laugh. „Yes, the Council probably too. But I actually meant Helen and Aline.“
Blake nodded slowly. Helen Blackthorn took over the position as head of the institute in Montreal together with Aline Penhallow, after her Mother, Consul Penhallow gave it to her.
„Somehow unterstandable, but I can imagine how you must feel.“, Blake said. Leksi quit laughing and looked at him blankly. As he noticed her look, he gave her an encouraging smile.
„I believe I can talk to the headmistress so we can go on a trip.“, he changed the subject, leaned back on his chair and looked at her satisfied.
The food was cleaned up in the meantime. Leksi had the feeling she hasn’t eaten this good in a long time.
„That would be awesome. I’m already missing the fresh air.“, she said happily.
Blake leaned in again, resting his elbows on the table.
„We have a curtilage.“, he said challengingly.
Leksi made a face. „That’s so not the same.“, she answered and rose her chin theatrically. Blake had to laugh. A pleasant warmness overcame her. His laugh was so beautiful, it transferred her into a different time. It infected her, let her flourish like a flower and suppressed the misery weighing on her soul.
For a moment a guilty conscience creeped up on her. It was the first time she felt so alive since Annabeth’s death. She knew Annabeth would have wanted her not to mourn as much but to live her life. But she was also sure Annabeth would wanted her to find her murderer and make him responsible for his actions. Annabeth wouldn’t have sat here enjoying nice conversations. She would have pulled out all the stops, gotten back to the institute, not let anyone send her back until they would have found the demon and killed him. Maybe this was just the Annabeth in Leksi’s mind, she tought. Maybe she was persuading herself all that because she refused to believe that her life was continuing like this. She hasn’t accepted the loss yet.
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