RETOUCHED - Chapter 6 - Alleged Truth

I was just finished with my morning work out, heading towards Elbi Entertainment’s lobby when my phone rang. Luckily the medication by Dr. Yoo helped pretty good and I was already feeling better the next day.
I searched for my phone and stopped walking when I saw Taejung’s name on the screen. I couldn’t move. I wasn’t even sure if I should answer that call.
„Hello?“, I finally took it.
„Hey, how are you?“, Taejung’s voice asked me.
„I’m good and you?“ I started walking again, trying to calm myself down.
I couldn’t remember much of that album release night, but I had the feeling that whatever had happened wasn’t too good.
„Me too.“, he said. „Where are you at?“
„I’m at Elbi’s, I just finished my work out.“, I replied. I reached the stairs leading down to the lobby and saw Taejung standing at the entrance right away.
„That’s great, let’s go out for lunch.“, he said. He also spotted me and smiled at me with probably the brightest smile that I’ve ever seen.
I went down the stairs, hanging up my phone. My heart started to race again.
Taejung offered me his arm and together we went outside were some paparazzi were waiting for opportunities like this. I wasn’t sure if Taejung wanted to set this up, or if he had other intentions. Maybe it was wrong that I had so little trust in him. But I couldn’t help it, since I knew what Mr. Kwon was up to. I automatically thought, Mr. Park was the same.
     Taejung and I went to a small place called Bonjuk.
„Is this a porridge restaurant?“, I wanted to know when we stood in front of the small entrance.
Taejung turned around and smiled at me. „Since I couldn’t make you any porridge when you were sick, I at least wanted to treat you to some now.“
This was definitely one of the cutest gestures that anyone had ever done for me.
We went inside the restaurant and took our seats in a somewhat hidden corner. Luckily no paparazzi had followed us here, but I was still nervous that fans started to recognize us, or recognize HIM. I didn’t feel like anyone would come up to us for ME.
„Don’t be nervous.“, he said. He had noticed my hectic glances through the restaurant, observing the other people. Taejung reached out for my hand. This wasn’t exactly helping.
A waiter came to us and I could tell he knew who we were. He wore an apron around his waist and a huge pair of black framed glasses on his nose. He had a note pad in his hands and he was shaking as he held the pen and wrote down our table number.
„What can I bring you?“, he asked. It wasn’t only his hands shaking, but his voice too.
„We take two pumpkin porridges and some water, please.“, Taejung ordered.
I sort of didn’t like that he ordered for me too. I felt like he was still seeing me as the little sister he had to order for. But then again, maybe he just wanted to be a gentlemen. I should just stop thinking.

„Or do you want something else?“, Taejung asked me.
The waiter looked at me, his eyes very small behind those huge glasses.
„No, pumpkin porridge sounds good.“, I said.
     The porridge looked really good and it smelled so delicious. Though I had a weird blocking inside my head which made me feel bad for thinking about eating.
Taejung caught my gaze. „Are you okay?“, he wanted to know.
I nodded, starring at my plate.
„Hey, look at me.“, he said and took my hand again.
I breathed in deeply and rose my head to face him.
„You should really eat something. I don’t want you to get sick again.“, he said with such softness inside his voice that I almost felt bad for making him say something like this.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I had a warm dish. I was eating tofu and cucumber every day. It was almost like warm food was a total new experience to me. But it felt so good and my entire body seemed to thank me with warm shivers running down my back.
„Do you have any new jobs yet?“, Taejung asked and put another spoon of porridge into his mouth.
„Well, I have a casting in a few days for the spring campaign of ‚somethin‘ sweet’.“, I said.
„That sounds cool.“, he said. „Do you think you will get the job?“
I shrugged my shoulders.
„I think you’ll get it.“, he said.
„Why?“, I wanted to know. „Because I’m your girlfriend?“
I didn’t even know what made me react that way. Something just made me get really mad but I couldn’t explain what is was.
Taejung looked at me and seemed surprised. „No.“, he said really quietly.
„I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.“, again I managed to ruin the atmosphere.
„Do you really think so?“, he asked.
I couldn’t look at him and didn’t answer, but quietly ate my porridge.
„Do you really think people would book you, because you’re my girlfriend?“
This word cut right through me. It already hurt when I said it, but it hurt a lot more hearing him speaking this lie out loud.
„I always feel bad because I’m getting so much more out of this.“, he said.
„What do you mean?“
„I really needed this relationship. Level Five is gathering attention with the new album, but also Heojae and Baeksoo are. They have a lot of rapping parts in the new songs. You know who has less parts? Me. I barely have parts in any other song than Coffee Kiss. It would be really hard to promote my solo career after this. Nobody would talk about me if it wasn’t for you. You are the one making people interested in me.“, he explained.
I never thought about it this way. I always assumed that he was hating this fake relationship with me and just agreed because Mr. Park made him. I thought that was the reason why he wanted to force this relationship in the first place - because he wanted to show his manager that he did what he wanted and not what Mr. Park wanted.
„Sure, you’re a newcomer and now a lot more people know you because of me. But if you really look into it - you wouldn’t need me in order to be a successful model. But I need you to get my solo career.“, he said. He focused me with his black eyes. And I knew he wasn’t lying. He was meaning every word he said.
We kept quite for a while. I had no words to say and Taejung seemed to be miserable.
„I’ll leave for Japan in a few days.“, he then said.
„Japan? For how long.“, I asked.
„For one month. Maybe even longer. We have our tour there and depending on the response of the Japanese fans, we expand the tour schedule.“ His voice wasn’t as cheerful as usual.
„Don’t you want to go?“
„I do.“, he said and looked me deeply in the eyes. „But I also want to stay here with you.“
He always surprised me with his straight forward way to say things. I should have been used to it by that point, but I still wouldn’t believe what was happening.

After we finished our porridge, we headed towards my dorm. Taejung had a meeting later that day but he refused to just let me go home by myself and even walked me all the stairs up to the door.
„You really didn’t have to bring me all the way.“, I said.
„But I wanted to.“, he smiled.
I hated the feeling he gave me. I hated that I felt comfortable. It just made everything so much more complicated.
I searched for my key and when I was about to unlock the door, Taejung grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. He pulled me close, clasping his arms around my body. I was totally taken aback, squeezed by his hug so I almost couldn’t breathe.
He then let go of me, but still held me by the shoulders.
„I’m sorry, I just missed you.“, he said and he had this look again, searching for something within my expression.
„We spent the entire day together.“, I said and rose my eyebrows.
„I know.“, he said. His hand carefully put my hair behind my ears and stroke over my cheek. My eyes widened. I noticed he was focusing my lips and my fingers started to tingle.
Some part of me really wanted him to kiss me, but I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t let him kiss Clover. He was not supposed to actually like her - like me. I knew that this was what Mr. Kwon had wished for. I knew Mr. Kwon had some sort of evil plan to get rid of Taejung and he wanted me to make him fall in love with me. But I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to be that kind of person. Even though I still didn’t know if I could trust Taejung, I wanted to believe that he was an honest person. I wanted to believe that he wasn’t playing with me. I wanted to believe that he liked me.
Everything could’ve been so easy. But it wasn’t.
Taejung came closer and I tried to lean backwards to escape. I dropped my key, bent down to grab them and slipped out of his grip.
„Oh, I dropped my keys.“, I said, awkwardly laughing.
Taejung blinked a few times.
„Well, it’s getting late. I think you should better leave.“, I babbled. „Have a good day.“, I said, patted his shoulder and couldn’t unlock the door quick enough to slip inside my safe dorm.
That was close.
I breathed in deeply and slid down the cool wall onto the ground. I pulled my legs close to my body and rested my chin on my knees.
Maybe it was good that he was leaving for a month. I didn’t know how much longer I could take this. All those secrets and lies were weighing down on me.

A few days later I had my monthly meet up with Mr. Kwon. I was coming to his office to discuss my recent development and we made the schedule for the following month.
I was sitting inside his office, waiting for him to arrive. His office was a rather small room with white walls. There was a simple desk with a computer and a big leather chair. A few shelves with binders covered the wall to my left.
„Ah, you’re already here.“, Mr. Kwon said as he entered his office. He took his seat opposite me and clicked some things on his computer.
„It has been a great month so far. But I think we can top this.“, he said. He took off his shades and I starred into his dark eyes. He looked old and tired, somehow exhausted.
„First let me ask you something.“, he said. I wasn’t sure if I was only imagining the bitter tone in his voice.
„Where have you been during the album release?“, he asked. My heart stopped for a second. The album release was already over a week ago. And I had talked to Mr. Kwon since. He had never asked and I hoped he wouldn’t do so at any other time.
„What do you mean?“, I replied.
Mr. Kwon squinted his eyes, focussing me and observing my facial expressions.
„I thought I told you to hang around Taejung, but I never saw you again that night.“
„Really?“, I said, trying to get some time to think of something to say. „Well, I went to look for Sunhi and after I found her we went to the VIP section. But Level Five’s performance was about to start, so they needed to leave.“, I lied.
I saw inside his eyes, that he wasn’t believing me. The corner of his mouth was twitching. He sighed.
I remembered that Mr. Kwon gave me something to drink and I was feeling weird afterwards. I didn’t tell this Sunhi or Taejung. And I didn’t want to accuse Mr. Kwon of anything. I just thought it was a weird coincidence. Whatever his plans might have been, I didn’t want him to think that it worked out.
„Well…“, he started. „‚somethin‘ sweet’ called, you got the job. Also you have some offers from other companies. We should go through them and see which ones are fitting. You cannot take them all, since we don’t want people to think you’re desperate.“
I nodded.
I had eight offers in total. It was beyond crazy. I couldn’t even believe that I was a well-known model and that companies wanted me to be the face of their products. Out of the offers, Mr. Kwon suggested to only accept two. I didn’t understand much of marketing, but Mr. Kwon said something about my value and that some agencies just would want me more, if we turn them down the first time. I agreed to do attend to a charity event, which was collecting money for deaf children and shooting a commercial for SK Telecom. This, plus the ‚somethin‘ sweet’ shooting should fill my schedule for September. 

     „Mr. Kwon?“, I asked, when we were done with the actual meeting. „Can I ask you something?“
Mr. Kwon waited for my question, raising his eyebrows.
„What happened to Ahn Jaerin?“, I wanted to know. I knew this was a dangerous question, but after what Taejung told me, I just wanted to know Mr. Kwon’s side of the story.

„I think you already know what happened to her.“, he said.
„I only know what the internet says. But I’ve been working with you for so long now and I actually want to hear, what you have to say.“, I explained.
Mr. Kwon sighed again. „I really don’t want to talk about this, but I know you wouldn’t let go.“
„I wouldn’t.“, I agreed.
„I met Jaerin when she was about fourteen. I saw that she had potential and so I started to work with her. Of course she was way too young and untrained, but I didn’t want anyone else to discover her a few years later. So I sent her to singing classes. Her family didn’t have much money, so we made a contract. Jaerin was going to school and took singing classes on weekends and holidays. Her parents weren’t as convinced as I was and wanted her to focus on school. Jaerin enjoyed singing and she was begging me to get her into a trainee program. A year later, her parents agreed and she started as a trainee here at Elbi.“, he said.
„I didn’t know that she was a trainee.“, I said.
„That’s because it was somewhat unofficial. She wasn’t here to join a band. She was here to become a strong solo singer. She worked really hard because she wanted to debut as soon as possible. She got other offers from SM, JYP even. But since I was the one by her side from the beginning, she turned them all down. We had a really great relationship.“, he said with a soft voice. „She was like a niece to me. After her debut, she changed. She started to become obsessed with success. She wanted more. She wanted more concerts, more jobs and different songs. She didn’t like the concept we chose for her and she wanted to write her own songs. It became hard to work with her. She didn’t listen to me.“
„And that’s why her last album failed?“, I wanted to know.
Mr. Kwon nodded. He looked sad. I had never seen him sad. Angry, yes. Or sometimes even happy. But sadness was not actually something that Mr. Kwon showed.
„The failure was too much for her. I tried to explain, that this wasn’t the end. That this could happen and that she should just let us do our jobs. But we didn’t even came to that.“, he suddenly stopped speaking and I knew what was following. I didn’t need to hear his words. I didn’t even want him to say it out loud.
„Does this answer your question?“, he asked and tried to smile.
I nodded.
„I really know what I’m doing here, you just need to trust me.“, he added.
„I know. It’s just that those lies, this secret identity…it’s too much.“
Mr. Kwon sighed. „You can only tell those who you can fully trust. And you cannot trust anyone one-hundred percent.“, he said. He had his strong voice back.
„But I can trust you.“
Mr. Kwon smiled. A weird grin, that confused me.
He didn’t tell me to not tell anyone. He said I could tell people that I trust. And I trusted Taejung, didn’t I. I was trying to not like him. But it didn’t work out and I was too weak to fight this anymore. I wanted to keep him distant because I wasn’t honest with him. Because I wanted him to like the real me and not this illusion of myself named Clover. 

I didn’t know if I could trust him. But I couldn’t imagine he would do everything he did so far, if he was just pretending to like me. He saved me at the album release, he had been a person I could rely on. I remembered that moment when his lips were so close, they almost touched mine. All I wanted in this moment, was to burst out the truth and tell him, who I really was. He needed to know. Even though I was scared he wouldn’t understand and would turn his back on me, I needed to tell him. 

-

kpopobsession.com

Level Five leaves for Japan tour?!

Things couldn’t be any better for Level Five.

Their 2nd album Upgrade places first in this weeks Music Bank album charts. Also Coffee Kiss hits 10 million viewers on youtube (elbientertainment). 

But before Levelers get to see the already announced music video for Bean Queen, the band visits Japan for their Upgrade album tour. Fans have been disappointed and showed their frustration in a recent post on pann:

„ How can Level Five’s management plan a tour in Japan right after the album release? What about us Korean fans? We don’t deserve concerts?
I never liked Elbi Entertainment in the first place. They have a lot of negative press, like the death of Ahn Jaerin, Park Jikyun’s back injury and the split of Sunshine. The management lacks quite a bit, but we started to oversee this, with Level Five becoming so popular. They seem to get the right treatment and the concept really matches their potential. Level Five is what made Elbi great. I don’t think Mun Minwo would have signed with Elbi, if he didn’t think the company made progress. After all YG wanted him. 

I really don’t get what Elbi thinks. We were waiting for the comeback and album since January. Level Five didn’t have a single concert in Seoul, not even Korea, since last year.
I don’t care if they visit Japan or not, maybe it’s good for money and of course Japanese fans want to see them, too. But why don’t they start here? Instead they let the Korean fans down…“

[+121, +6] Elbi really messed it up again

[+97, -4] Really? There’s no concert schedule for Korea???

Unnoticed by Korean Levelers, Elbi set up the tour dates for Japan in July. In fact the tour starts in three days, shown on the bands latest instagram posts, where they show their preparations to leave for Japan. But still no schedule, not even a word about Korea. 

-


before reading Chaper 7, please read the Ahn Jaerin Special.

© all rights reserved || copyright by J.J.B. allejmoon.blogspot.com

RETOUCHED - Chapter 5 - Delirious

I woke up from the sound of my alarm. The ringing tone tortured my ears until I finally switched it off.
I felt horrible. My entire body was sore. My back and legs hurt and my head felt like a huge balloon which was about to explode. I didn’t want to get up. I was tired and so exhausted. It wasn’t the normal exhausted, I pretty much felt like every day. This time was different. It was much worse.

I forced myself out of bed. Today was important.
It was the day of the album release of Level Five and of course I had to attend the event. I wasn’t quite sure, if I really wanted to go there. It was a good opportunity to get photographed, but also I somehow didn’t want to meet Taejung.
Ever since we visited Everland the mood between us got a little weird. That day ruined everything I had been putting up. He knew I had two different characters, though he didn’t know which one was the real me. Even I didn’t know that.
The album release was yet another opportunity for me to show Taejung, that this relationship was only for our both advantages and had nothing to do with actual feelings. I didn’t exactly come up with a plan, but there were still some hours for me to think of something.

It was definitely not the best idea to get out of bed. My head spun.
„Are you okay?“, Minsoo asked.
I tried to nod while pressing my palms against my temples. „I guess I’m just a little sick.“
Minsoo came over to me and patted my forehead to feel my temperature.
„You’re burning hot.“, she cried out and jumped back as if she was shocked. „You really need to see a doctor.“

„I really don’t have time for that.“, I tried to explain. „I need to work out and get my makeup done afterwards.“
„You’re not going anywhere.“, she said and pulled me back into bed.
I wanted to get rid of her, but I was way to weak to fight against that short girl.

Minsoo left our room and came back with a thermometer.
„See, I told you. You have a fever.“, she said and shook her head. „I call Mr. Kwon for you.“, she reached out for my phone.
„Don’t!“, I wanted her to stop, but she was too fast, grabbed my phone and backed off.
„Mr. Kwon, here’s Minsoo. Clover is really sick, I think she should see a doctor.“, she told him on the phone. I didn’t hear how he reacted, but I was sure, he wasn’t too happy about it.

Mr. Kwon came to pick me up and brought me to a hospital. We didn’t take my car, because it would cause too much attention. And people should not know, that I visited the hospital.
„Did I allow you to get sick?“, he asked.
I shook my head.
„You making it awfully hard for me to manage you.“, he said while pulling me down a hallway until we finally reached a door.
Dr. Yoo was apparently a friend of Mr. Kwon. He checked me but his face didn’t seem to like, what he was seeing.
„She’s totally done.“, he sighed.
„What do you mean, she’s done?!“, Mr. Kwon raged.
„Her blood pressure is really low, due to her excessive dieting. I need to make a hemogram to check her blood values. I assume she lacks nutrients. Her temperature is also quite high. Her body is trying to make her rest because she’s exhausted. She should rest for some days and then come back here.“, Dr. Yoo explained.
Mr. Kwon shook his head. „We cannot do this. Clover has to attend Level Five’s album release tonight.“, he said.
„I don’t suggest her doing this. Her condition is unstable and it’s most likely she would faint. Plus you can see in how much pain she is by the expression on her face.“
„Can’t you give her anything so she can get through the night?“, Mr. Kwon asked. I couldn’t hear if there was desperation in his voice or if he sounded like he always did - cold and heartless. 

Dr. Yoo sighed. „If you would have watched her better, this wouldn’t have happened.“, he said.
„Don’t tell me what I should have done!“, Mr. Kwon yelled. „Have you seen the articles they write about her? Have you seen how everything works out for her career? And have you seen how many clients want to work with me since then?! It was all my doing. Everything worked out just fine.“

„I didn’t mean to insult you, Joosuk. I know that the past years had been rough for you. But you’re overestimating the amount of work a young girl can take.“, Dr. Yoo tried to calm Mr. Kwon down.
„Just let her get through the day. She can rest tomorrow. Today is too important to miss.“
„I really don’t want to do this.“
„I know.“, Mr. Kwon said. He didn’t wear his blue shades and ran up and down, seeming pretty nervous.
„Clover?“, Dr. Yoo asked me. „Do you want to attend that event tonight?“, he asked.
I was glad that he let the decision up to me. Even though, there wasn’t exactly an option. Mr. Kwon would be furious if I would refuse the medication for today. So I nodded.
„Fine then.“, again Dr. Yoo sighed. „I’ll give her some painkillers and an infusion. That should make her feel better.“ He went over to a board and grabbed some medicine.
„Take one every two hours for now and take two right before you leave to the event.“, he instructed me and handed me a small packet.

I was feeling a lot better after getting the infusion. Dr. Yoo told me to get some food and to start eating more regularly. But we both knew that this wouldn’t happen. That was not how it worked.

Mr. Kwon and I drove to Elbi Entertainment right away. We lost quite some time in the hospital and were almost a little late for me getting ready.
„Are you excited?“, Sunhi whispered.
I nodded and took another one of the pills Dr. Yoo gave me.
„What are those?“, Sunhi wanted to know.
„I’m a little sick.“, I told her. „I need to take these so I’m not feeling miserable.“
„I hope you’re feeling better soon.“, she answered. „I heard they have a chocolate fountain at the aftershow party.“
„Really?“
„I wish I could go there.“, she sighed.
„Then why don’t you come with me?“, I suggested.
„What?“, she gasped. „No way. I couldn’t do this.“
„Why not?“ I really didn’t see any reason.
„Because I’m a no one.“, she said.
„But you’re my friend. And I’m allowed to take someone, so I take you.“, I smiled at her.
„Are you sure?“ Sunhi didn’t seem convinced yet. „Mr. Kwon wouldn’t like that.“
„Oh, believe me, he owes me after today.“ 

And so it was decided.
Sunhi would be my perfect excuse to not hang around Taejung all night. Mr. Kwon already told me that apparently Level Five wanted me to join them on the red carpet. I didn’t know what Mr. Park thought he was getting out of this, but I didn’t really care anyway. 

„Many celebrities and idols attend this event tonight. One starlet after the other walks over the red carpet here at Club Octagon. And everyone is excited for the new album of Level Five. Levelers gathered and are waiting for their boys to arrive. Elbi Entertainment hinted there would be an exclusive performance of Level Five’s new songs.“, a women said holding a mic.
The album release party was bigger than I thought. I never attended one of those parties, so I didn’t know better.

But also Level Five came up with a perfect concept. The new album would be released at midnight and many stores would open up to sell ‚Upgrade‘ to all the fans, who waited all night. 

I was waiting for Level Five’s arrival in my car with Mr. Kwon and Sunhi. Mr. Kwon wasn’t stoked about my plan to bring Sunhi. But since I had agreed to take his medicine to attend this event, he didn’t have any choice.
Chaemin was the first member of Level Five that I saw. My heart stopped beating right away. This was it. My time had come. I was so nervous, I didn’t even think of any pain that I had before.
„Showtime.“, Mr. Kwon said and opened the door for me.
Showtime.
I heard the screaming fans. Everyone already knew that the boys had arrived.

„Isn’t it weird if I go with you?“, I asked.
Jisun smiled at me. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his side. „Don’t worry about it.“, he said.
A second later I was dragged onto the red carpet. Chaemin made sure I was with Taejung and pushed me into his direction. We took our pose in front of the cameras and smiled. It was weird. I wasn’t one of them, but they pretended like I was. I felt Taejung’s body close to mine. My hands started to tickle again. I tried to not look at him, which was harder than I thought. I just really wanted to sneak a peek and see his pretty eyes and lips. But I had to focus on my work tonight. His hypnotizing gaze always made me forget Clover and I couldn’t risk this. 

I couldn’t escape fast enough when we were entering the club. I saw Sunhi in her green dress and pulled her away from the entrance through the crowded club to some safer area.
„What was that about?“, she asked.
„I just…“, I didn’t find the right words to explain.
„There’s the chocolate fountain.“, she said and her eyes got huge and sparkly.
Sunhi clapped her hands and jumped over to the fountain.
„This is so cool. Thank you so much for taking me here.“
„Who’s your friend?“, someone asked behind me. When I turned around I looked into Seoljin’s face. His blue hair had faded to a nice silvery color.
Sunhi almost choked on a chocolate covered strawberry when she noticed him.
„This is Sunhi. Sunhi, Seoljin.“, I introduced them.
„I sure know who you are.“, she said and her eyes were even huger than before.
„You two should come over to our VIP section.“, Seoljin said and smiled.
„We actually want to look around for a bit.“, I said.
„Okay, but make sure you come by later. Taejung is so lonely without you.“, he said and winked.
„Why aren’t we going?“, Sunhi wanted to know after Seoljin left.
I sighed.
„Did you and Taejung fight?“, she asked.
„No.“, I replied.
Sunhi waited for some kind of explanation. But there were no words.
„I know I said we were friends. But still there are things that I won’t tell you.“, I said. Maybe I sounded a little too grumpy but I was a little mad because Sunhi had no understanding for my situation.
But luckily she didn’t complain anymore. We went onto the dance floor and enjoyed ourselves. As much as this was possible. I still felt my illness coming through every now and then. Plus, I had the feeling that I was watched by Taejung and every time I risked a peek into his direction I caught him looking right at me.
„I go out for some air.“, I said to Sunhi.
„Is it okay, if I stay here?“, she asked. I nodded and left her behind.
     The fresh air of the night was pretty good. It was really loud inside the club and I liked the quietness outside.
But this didn’t last for long, because Mr. Kwon had found me.
„How are you feeling?“, he asked.
„I’m fine.“, I replied.
„Why aren’t you with Taejung?“
„Why would I?“, I shrugged my shoulders.
„Because you two are dating. People need to believe this.“
„Can’t we just blow this off?“, I asked.
„What the heck is wrong with you?!“, Mr. Kwon spitted out. „No, we cannot blow this off. You two made Elbi confirm your relationship. So stick with it. And make it believable.“
I looked into my reflection inside Mr. Kwon’s blue sunglasses. The makeup artists did an excellent job. I looked perfect. No hint of me being sick anymore.
„I’m just so tired of this.“, I said and turned away from Mr. Kwon looking into the night sky.
„I know. It won’t be for long anymore. I already have the perfect plan to get rid of him.“, he said.
To get rid of him - that didn’t sound like a nice plan.
„Let’s go back inside. It’s too cold out here.“, Mr. Kwon said. He put his arm around me and walked me back into the club.
„Let me get you a drink.“, he said and pulled me over to the bar.
I didn’t hear what he told the bartender, but a minute later Mr. Kwon handed me an orange liquid.
„Don’t worry it’s without alcohol. It has a lot of sugar though, so you’ll feel better.“, he said and then he left me. I was watching him finding his way through the crowd until I couldn’t see him any longer.
I took some zips of the drink. It was cold and really sweet. Almost too sweet for my taste.

My head spun. I got really tired. I couldn’t see anymore. Everything was blurry. I tried to get to a bench near the side of the dance floor. But with every step I took, I felt like the bench was drifting away.
„Clover, are you okay?“, Sunhi asked. She helped me walk and rested me on the bench.
„I feel horrible. Everything’s spinning.“, I said. Tears pushed against my eyes. My stomach was hurting and I felt like I had to through up any second.
„Wait right here. I get help.“, she said.
     „What is with her?“, I heard Taejung’s voice ask. I was too weak to open my eyes.
Sunhi started panicking. „I don’t know. She’s sick, she took a lot of pills before she got here.“
„What?!“, Taejung sounded shocked.
„She was alright earlier, I don’t know what happened.“
„Is this hers?“, Taejung asked and pointed at the cup that I was still holding in my hand.
„I guess so, she was holding it, when I found her.“, Sunhi said.
„What was in there?“
Sunhi shrugged her shoulders and grabbed the cup.
„We have to get her home.“, Taejung stated.
„I go get Mr. Kwon.“, Sunhi said.
„No.“, Taejung immediately held her back. „Don’t get Mr. Kwon. Do not tell him.“
Sunhi nodded. Something in Taejung’s voice made her feel the meaning within his words.

I was woken up when someone entered my room. It was dark. I had no idea how I got here or what had happened. I was wondering what time it was. My body felt numb and my head still hurt.
„Minsoo, is that you?“, I whispered into the black.
„No. It’s me, Taejung.“, he said and kneed next to my bed. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it a little.
„What happened?“, I asked him with a weak voice.
„You fainted during the aftershow party.
„What?“, tears pushed against my eyes. I tried to remember, but the pictures appearing inside my head were blurry and I wasn’t sure if they were even real.
„Mr. Park brought you here. I’m sorry, I’m so late. I had my performance, but I wanted to check if you’re okay.“, he said.
I wished I could see his face. I wished I could drown inside his black eyes, but all I could see was his hazy silhouette.
„You should rest.“, he said.
„Taejung.“, I said. I was really tired and about to fall asleep again. „Don’t leave. Please, don’t leave.“, I mumbled. I grabbed his wrist, so he couldn’t leave. Even though my grip wasn’t exactly what you would call tight.
„I’m scared.“, I said.
„What are you scared of?“, Taejung asked.
„I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.“, I said and shook my head.
„Hey, what’s wrong?“, he said. I felt how he leaned over, his hands touching my face. „I think you have a fever.“, he stated. His thumbs ran over my forehead, soothing the pain.

„Don’t leave me.“, I closed my eyes still holding Taejung’s wrist.
He freed himself from my grip, but took my hand instead, crossing our fingers together.
„I won’t leave you, Clover.“, he whispered and I could hear the little smile on his lips.
I shook my head again. „Don’t call me that name.“, I said.
„But that’s your name.“, he said.
„No. I don’t want it anymore.“
„Clover, what are you saying?“, Taejung wanted to know.
„I don’t…“, I pressed over my lips. I breathed heavily and was starting to feel really hot.
Taejung put his finger onto my mouth, so I wouldn’t speak anymore. „You should sleep. You have a fever, I think you’re not all here. I just go get a cool towel.“
„Don’t leave.“, I said again. I didn’t know what made me hold him back. I wanted him at my side. I felt like I would fall down into a swirl of nothingness but Taejung was keeping me from falling. I was clinging onto this small piece of reality he was reminding me of.
„I’ll be right back. I promise.“, he said, calming me down.
I didn’t notice Taejung coming back with the towel. The sleep finally overwhelmed me and numbed my body and senses.

When I woke up again, I was still holding hands with Taejung. He sat on the floor next to my bed, his head resting next to my body.
Someone knocked at the door and Minsoo stuck her head into the room.
„Are you awake?“, she asked me. She looked back and forth between me and the sleeping Taejung.
I nodded. Taejung suddenly woke up. He blinked into the light.
„Taejung, your manager is at the door. You have an appointment.“, Minsoo said.
„Oh, right. I’ll be right there.“, he said.
Minsoo nodded and left us alone again.
„How are you feeling?“, Taejung asked.
„Did you really stay here all night?“, I wanted to know because I just couldn’t believe he would do such a thing.
„Well…“, he smiled „you didn’t want me to leave. Is your head any better?“ He reached out to feel my temperature. „I think your fever went down. Are you feeling better?“
„Maybe a little.“, I said. „But my head still feels like it’s about to explode. In dramas when someone gets sick, they get treated by someone and they’re totally fine the next day.“, I said.
„But you forgot one important thing.“
„Which one?“, I wanted to know.
„There’s always someone making porridge for the sick person. Seems like the food’s doing all the magic.“, he grinned and made me laugh. „Listen, I need to go now, but I’ll be back as soon, as I can.“, he said with a more serious voice.
„Don’t worry about me. I will be fine.“, I said even though I would’ve liked it better if he stayed.
„I can tell Sunhi to come watch you.“, he suggested.
„Sunhi?“, I totally forgot that she was with me the last night. „Is she alright?“
Taejung nodded. „She’s fine. I’ll see you later.“
And with that I was left alone in my room.

-

kpopobsession.com

 
Level Five release ‚Upgrade‘ at special event party

Many Levelers feared that Level Five would be downgraded to Level Four after the dating of member Taejung and model Clover was confirmed.
But the band showed up with all five members to their special release party, even including Clover in their red carpet arrival.

‚Upgrade‘ was long awaited and is finally out. Fans had gathered around Club Octagon after Elbi Entertainment hinted a special performance of the boys last night.
And fans didn’t get disappointed!
At 11:35p.m. Level Five’s manager announced the performance of three new songs of the album ‚Upgrade‘.
The boys showed their dance and singing skills in ‚Highway‘, ‚Hold me back‘ and ‚Bean Queen‘, which is the song following the plot of Level Five’s song ‚Coffee Kiss‘, the title track of the album.

Level Five topped off their performance with ‚Coffee Kiss‘ right before midnight. Only seconds after the boys finished the song, fire fountains lit the area near Gangnam and the album was officially released.

At midnight many stores opened their doors for the waiting Levelers to get their hands on the new album. By now many stores already sold out, which makes ‚Upgrade‘ Level Five’s probably most successful album since their debut in early 2013.
Their new concept really pays off. The overall sound of ‚Upgrade‘ follows ‚Coffee Kiss‘. Hip-hop beats and rap parts make the songs a lot different from what we’re used to hear from Level Five. Though Fans seem to like this new sound a lot, showing their support on SNS with #L5upgraded.
Lead rapper Heojae has a lot more parts due to the changed style of music. Also one of the most underrated members, Baeksoo, finally got his chance to shine and wins fans over with his rap and singing skills. 

Did you already buy ‚Upgrade‘? Tell us what you think in the comment box below.

-

© all rights reserved || copyright by J.J.B. allejmoon.blogspot.com

RETOUCHED - Chapter 4 - Everland

I sighed, wiped some sweat off of my forehead and tried to breathe normally. I starred outside the huge window wall into the tiny little light spots caused by the lit rooms in the skyscrapers in front of me. I drank some water and the dizziness slowly started to get better.
It was really hot inside the gym and even though it was close to midnight, I wasn’t the only one working out this late.
It was quiet. Everyone seemed concentrated. But I was done for today. My legs felt like jelly and I couldn’t wait to just fall into bed and sleep.
I went into the locker room, took a quick shower and headed downstairs to get to my car. The Elbi building was really scary at night. The white lamps illuminated the great lobby with an eery light. Every footstep I took was echoed by the walls and sunk into my ears.
I finally reached the car, which was waiting outside the building. Luckily there weren’t any paparazzi at this hour. I probably looked like a ghost myself and I needed some rest.
I took my phone out and started to scroll through my instagram feed. I gained a lot of followers over the past weeks, while trying my best to ignore all the harsh comments and threats I got, since the rumors of me and Taejung had occurred.
‚Is this Clover? Are you still awake?‘, someone messaged me.
I opened my Line and looked at the unfamiliar number.
‚Who is this?‘, I replied and waited for that someone to answer.
‚It’s Taejung.‘, the person said.
I wasn’t sure if I should believe this. I never gave him my number, so where did he get it from.
‚We should go on a date tomorrow.‘, he texted again when I didn’t answer.
‚Ya, sure.‘, I texted. As if Taejung would suggest such a thing?!
‚Pick you up tomorrow.‘

-

kpopobsession.com

Elbi Entertainment confirms Taejung and Clover dating

Netizens had been pretty sure that Level Five’s Taejung and model Clover were dating after their appearance at the Stylenanda opening event earlier this week.
Though everyone was waiting for Elbi Entertainment’s official statement, since the management had been denying all the dating rumors until now.

This morning Elbi’s president Song Woohyuk let the press department release the following message:
„We confirm the two (Taejung and Clover) are seeing each other with good feelings. They got close through shooting ads together and began dating after recently developing good feelings. Please look upon them warmly so the two idols may continue their relationship and cheer each other on as colleagues and lovers in the future“*

Model Clover rapidly gained follower on instagram and having endless discussions going on in the comments of her pictures. The young model receives a lot of hate and is called a ‚wannabe‘ which does not have ‚the beauty to be a model‘ and is furthermore accused of having plastic surgery done.

comment box

levelersjunji:
she’s not even an idol?! warmly my ass…

Reply 579 Likes

minihaha:

who does that bitch think she is??? she’s no idol, she’s just
a stupid model. and she’s ugly. like what’s up with her PS
face?? she’s a total faker!!

Reply 348 Likes

rubinheartsy:

@minihaha i know!! her nose is totally done. i can tell. 

Reply 56 Likes

levelfivechaechae:

@minihaha @rubinheartsy I don’t think she had PS. And even
if she did, it looks really natural. She’s not plastic at all. You
can’t make things up and hate on her just because she’s
dating Taejung. She didn’t do anything wrong so stop the
crappy attitude!!

Reply 89 Likes

shikey01:

this won’t last anyway. as if he would like that plastic wannabe.

Reply 124 Likes

-

I was woken up by girl screaming and giggling.
I turned around in bed and covered my ears with my blanket.
Someone knocked at my door. „Clover?“, I heard Minsoo call my name.
„What?“, I moaned.
Minsoo opened the door and stuck her head inside our room.
„Why aren’t you coming in? This is your room, too.“, I said.
Minsoo’s cheeks were bright red. „Someone’s here for you.“, she said really quietly, so I had a hard time understanding her words and had to lipread.
The next moment Taejung came bursting into my room.
„I’m here to pick you up.“, he smiled.
I was shocked. My hair was a total mess and I probably looked awful.
„What?“, I gasped.
„I texted you that I’ll pick you up.“, he said and examined me.
So it really was Taejung, who texted me?!
„Where did you get my number?“, was all I could think of.
Only now I noticed Minsoo, who was still standing next to Taejung looking back and forth between us.
Taejung shrugged his shoulder smiling. „Get up already.“, he said
When I didn’t move he stepped forward, grabbed my blanket and pulled it off of my bed. I tried to pull it back and held it tightly but Taejung was way too strong and my blanket landed on the floor.
„How could you…what if I was naked?“, I protested.
„Would have been quite enjoyable too.“, Taejung grinned.
„Jerk!“, I spitted.
„Now come on and get ready.“, he requested.
„I have to take a shower and stuff.“, I said. I wasn’t ready to just go out with Taejung. What was he planning on?
„That’s okay. I’ll wait.“, he said, turned around and left my room.
Minsoo starred at me with her huge fake blue eyes.
„Am I dreaming?“, I asked her.
Minsoo shook her head. She seemed as confused as I was.

I probably should’ve been happy that Taejung appeared in my dorm on a Saturday morning. But since I was put into the little-sister-zone the last time we spoke, I wanted to avoid any contact with him. I wasn’t hurt or anything, or maybe I was, but the point was, that Clover and Taejung only had a PR-relationship, which was totally not enough for Hyeonmin. It was wrong.
And there she was again.
I took a shower and washed off all the feelings that Hyeonmin had. It was a good thing that Taejung was here. We would go on our fake date, get some pictures taken, people would write some articles and I would be getting attention.
It was a simple plan, yet it seemed so awfully hard to actually stick to it.

     After I got ready, I left my room and followed the high pitched voices and embarrassing giggling that came from the living room.
I saw Taejung sitting on one of the couches surrounded by actually every girl living in this dorm. We were about ten girls, mostly the others were Elbi trainees.
Taejung stopped talking and starred at me.
„Can we leave?“, I asked. I just wanted to get this over with.
„You look so pretty, Clover.“, Yubin said. She was supposed to be debuting this year.
„I know.“, I said and gave her a complacent look.
„Sorry girls, but I gotta leave now.“, Taejung said and slowly made his way through them.
Taejung and I left the dorm, walked down the stairs and outside the building.
„So where are we going?“, I wanted to know.
„That’s a surprise.“, he said. He walked over to a silver car and opened the door for me.
„Wait, you have a car?“, I asked. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
„Sure.“, he smiled. 

We were driving for quite a while, until I could see rollercoasters and a huge sign saying ‚Everland‘.
„Are you serious?“, I asked.
Taejung smiled at me. I was speechless for a moment. His gorgeous eyes caught me.
„But…“, I said and looked outside the window.
Taejung drove onto the parking lot, looking for an empty spot.
„Is this okay? I mean an amusement park is so public.“
„Do you ever check the news?“, he asked me with his cute voice. He had this little laughter within his voice, which made him sound cheerful.
„What news?“, I asked.
He shook his head, laughed and held his phone in front of my nose, so I could read the latest kpopobsession article.
„They really confirmed it?“, I looked at him, my eyes wide open, not believing what I just saw.
„They had to.“, he said. I knew it was part of his plan to force the management into actions, they wouldn’t like. But I’d never thought it would actually work.
„So we can have some fun today.“, he said.
Taejung parked the car. We walked over the sandy ground to the entrance of Everland. I was a little nervous. I had never been to an amusement park before and I was afraid people would recognize us.
I saw how people stuck their heads together, they whispered and starred at us. Some of them started to follow us all the way to the entrance.
„Just ignore them.“, Taejung said.
„You don’t need to tell me what to do.“, I replied and crossed my arms in front of my chest.
     A few minutes later we had our day tickets and were ready to enter Everland. The rollercoasters seemed even bigger standing right in front of them.
I felt uncomfortable and I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.
„Taejung! Can we get a picture?“, some girls asked.
And Taejung smiled for them and took a picture.

This scenario followed us the entire way through the park.
„Do you want to ride anything?“, Taejung asked.
I shook my head.
„Oh, let’s go over there!“, he said and pulled me to a caricaturist.
„This is so lame.“, I said and looked at all the weird faces that the man had drawn.
He was right in the middle of drawing a couple. The girl looked at me with sad eyes, when she heard my comment. But I didn’t care. I shrugged my shoulders and turned around to walk away.
„Clover!“, Taejung grabbed my wrist and stopped me. „What’s wrong with you?“, he asked.
„Nothing.“, I said.
He starred at me. There was pain in his eyes. My heart starting beating faster.
„I don’t believe you.“, he said with a soft, whispery voice.
„Like I care.“, I said, freed my wrist and walked pass him.
„Don’t walk away.“, he said and ran after me, blocking my way. „If you have a problem, just tell me. I thought you would enjoy a day off here at Everland.“
„Ya well, I don’t.“
Taejung didn’t have any words anymore.
„Taejung-oppa, can I have a picture with you two?“, a group of three girls had come up to us, interrupting our discussion.
„Of course.“, Taejung smiled.
That was too much for me to handle.
„Oh, common, give it a rest.“, I said and took off.
I did not have to do this.
The dating was confirmed, so there was no need for us to be seen together. And I didn’t want to take stupid pictures with Taejung.
„What the heck?“, Taejung stopped me again. „You cannot do this to your fans.“, he said.
„Just leave me alone.“, I said. I was really mad and my voice sounded a lot sharper than I intended to.
„You know what?! I will.“, he said angrily. „I don’t know what has gotten into to you, but this attitude of yours…I can’t stand it any longer. I wanted you to have a good time but all you do is being rude and disrespectful. So do whatever you want, I will enjoy my day.“, he stated and left me standing in the middle of the path.
I watched him disappear. He didn’t turn around anymore.
Tears were pushing against my eyes. I pressed my jaw together and dug my nails into my hands to hold back the tears. I walked back to the exit as fast as I could. I kept looking on the ground and hoped no one would recognize me. When I reached the parking area, I started running to the car. I didn’t know what I should do. My hands were shaking and my head was a mess.
I sank onto the ground, leaned my back against Taejung’s silver car and started crying.
My heart was hurting. It felt like it was ripped apart into thousand pieces. But that was only Hyeonmin’s heart. So it would be okay. I had to push Taejung away. I could not let him inside. It was harder than I thought. Every pore of my body seemed to fight against my decision.

This situation was hopeless. I didn’t bring enough money to buy a bus ticket back and I was too afraid to call my driver all the way to Everland, because Mr. Kwon would probably find out what had happened and get mad at me again. After all I didn’t stick to his plan again.

     „Can we talk?“, Taejung appeared in front of me. I didn’t look at him.

„Please get up.“, he said.
I was standing only inches apart from Taejung, still looking away.
„I’m sorry.“, he said.
How could he be sorry? He didn’t even do anything.
„I didn’t mean to yell at you. It was probably a little selfish of me to take you here without asking.“
„No, it wasn’t.“, I interrupted his apology.
Taejung came a little closer. „Were you crying?“, he asked.
„No.“, I said and tears were filling up my eyes again.
„Clover?“, he said whispering. I felt his arms clasping around my body, embracing me. Automatically my arms went around his waist.
Taejung hugged me tightly and stroke over my back. I dug my face into his white v-neck shirt and let the tears run.
„What’s wrong?“, he asked.
I shook my head, still leaning against his chest. „I can’t tell you.“, I cried.
I breathed in his smell and calmed down a little. I wanted to tell him. I really wanted to tell him the truth. But I couldn’t. He would probably hate me after this. And even though he only seemed to care about Clover, is was better than nothing.

„Do you want to go home?“, he asked.
I shook my head again.
„No?“, he asked in confusion.
I leaned back to look at him. „I would actually like to go on the Ferris wheel, if that’s okay?!“
Taejung laughed. „Of course.“, he smiled at me. He handed me a tissue from his backpack so I could dry my face.
„I’m sorry, I wet your shirt.“, I said and laughed when Taejung looked down onto his shirt and grinned at me.

Taejung somehow managed to get us a Ferris wheel basket for ourselves. Actually there were eight people fitting inside, but we had it just for us.
The view was phenomenal. I could almost see the ocean. Or maybe it just looked like it.
„It’s nice and chilly up here.“, Taejung said.
„Why are we even doing this?“, I asked.
„What do you mean?“
„It’s been confirmed that we’re dating, so we don’t need to make people suspicious by coming here.“, I said.
I tried to avoid his glance, even though I felt his eyes observing me.
„I didn’t come for that reason.“, he said. I heard how my assumption let his voice sound hurt. „I wanted to spend time with you.“

„Really?“ I didn’t want to believe him.
But Taejung nodded. „I don’t know how to explain it.“, he said. „I want to get to know you. You seem like two different people to me. I met you as a shy and cute girl. But you also have this unapproachable side. I’m curious who you are. And I’m curious what we are.“
I starred at him. I knew the answer to his question, but he would not like it very much.
„What I’m trying to say is, that, yes, we’re pretending to be dating, but that doesn’t mean that everything of this is fake.“, he stated.
I was caught by his gaze. The sun let his black eyes sparkle. The light breeze stroke his black hair. He almost looked like a black and white picture.
„I’m sorry, if I made you uncomfortable.“
I shook my head, still not able to speak. Taejung’s words flowed inside my head. I felt horrible. For the first time I really felt like I was lying to him.
Since I was telling everyone my name was Clover, I never had that feeling. I just saw it as some kind of screen name, like some actors had.
I noticed that Clover wasn’t only a name, but it was a role I had to adopt. The entire industry seemed unreal to me. Everyone was faking and everyone played their role. I never thought that one day I wouldn’t want to play Clover anymore. But I had already chosen. And there was no other option than sticking with it.
I turned my head away from Taejung. „I’m okay.“, I said „Can we go back to that caricaturist?“, I asked and wanted to change the subject.
„Are you sure?“, Taejung asked raising his eyebrows.
„You wanted to get a picture, didn’t you?“
He nodded. „It’s some sort of tradition.“, he said.
„The caricature?“
„Everytime I come to Everland I get my picture taken there. I have a bunch of drawings at my family’s place.“, he explained.
„When was the last time you were here?“, I wanted to know.
Taejung sighed. „I think it was before my debut.“ Level Five had their debut around two years ago, but I knew that Taejung had been a trainee since he was fourteen. So maybe he hasn’t been here since then.

„I’m sorry that I ruined your day.“, I said, because I felt stupid.
„You didn’t ruin it. You ALMOST ruined it.“, he grinned and made me smile. 

-

kpopobsession.com

Taejung and Clover spend free day at Everland

Elbi Entertainment only confirmed the dating rumors regarding Level Five’s Taejung and model Clover this morning.
The new couple used this official statement to spend the day together at the amusement park Everland located in Yongin. Fans spotted the couple taking a stroll through the park and having a romantic ride at the Ferris wheel. 

Everland’s manager Mr. Lee stated:

„We weren’t aware that they were coming. Their management didn’t announce them, so I myself was quite surprised when I got the message by one of our supervisors and thought it was a joke.“

The number of visitors at Everland rapidly increased after #TaeverAtEverland took over twitter and instagram. Even Everland posted a picture of Taejung and Clover (@witheverland).
Join our photo collection by posting your picture with Taejung and Clover in the comment box down below. 

-

* based on the dating confirmation of Kim Woobin and Shin Minah

PS = short for Plastic Surgery

© all rights reserved || copyright by J.J.B. allejmoon.blogspot.com

RETOUCHED - Chapter 3 - Erase my past

„Hyeonmin!“, someone knocked at my door.

I recognized her voice immediately. I rushed to the door and opened it.

„Mom!“, I yelled and clasped my arms around her body. My mom was quite short and a little chubby but she looked really young for her age. 

„I told you not to call me that anymore! Haven’t you read my emails?“, I asked her.

„I’m sorry, honey. I totally forgot. Clover is it, right?!“
I was so happy she was here. The last days had been overwhelming for me. There were so many rumors all over the internet. And I was busy calming Mr. Kwon down, who was still mad at me for that recent instagram post with Taejung. I haven’t talked to Taejung since, which made me a little nervous. I was scared he would do something, without me agreeing and it would cause more trouble with my manager. I was wondering what Mr. Park’s thoughts were.
     „You look so skinny. Where are your legs?“, my mom stated with a concerned voice. „Let’s go out for something to eat. I’ll treat you.“, she suggested.

„Wait!“, I said when my mom was about to head out the door. „I can’t!“

„Why?“

„I’m a celebrity now. I can’t walk around the streets. People will recognize me.“, I said.
My mom seemed sad and I wasn’t sure if she was able to understand what I was saying.
„But I know a place where we can go.“, I quickly said to cheer her up.

Moments later we were sitting in my car and the driver was supposed to bring us to the headquarters of Elbi Entertainment. It was the safest place I knew.

„This is your car?“, my mom asked me.
I nodded. I knew she didn’t like me being famous. She always hated it.
„That’s impressive.“, she said.
„You don’t have to lie.“, I replied.
She looked at me with her brown eyes. Fine lines surrounded them like small branches. She looked older than when I last saw her.
„How’s dad?“, I wanted to know.
She didn’t answer. Instead she turned her head and faced the window.
„I’m sorry, mom.“, I said.
I saw her nodding.
„You know I had to do this.“
„Let’s not talk about this again.“, she said and put a fake smile onto her lips. „Tell me about your life. I’ve been hearing so many things from the ladies at my card round.“, she said, changing the topic.
„I don’t even know where to start.“, I said. „It’s amazing. Really, mom!“, I started. „You know I had this music video shoot and since then everyone is going crazy.“, I told her.
„Yeeun showed it to me once. Her daughter was all obsessed over it.“, she said. Of course she would only mention Yeeun’s daughter and wouldn’t say a word about me.
I tried not to be too disappointed. „I had a shoot with Binggrae again together with Taejung.“, I continued.
„Is that the one, you’re dating now?“, she interrupted me.
Apparently my mom did know quite a lot about my new life. I wasn’t prepared for that. I didn’t know how to explain it to her. Was I allowed to tell her the truth? Would she keep it a secret?

     We arrived at Elbi Entertainment. Mr. Kwon told me to take my mom to the cafeteria here. And of course there were photographers placed in front of the building.
„Maybe you should stay inside and take the other entrance.“, I said biting my lip. Mr. Kwon had told me to take my mom with me so the photographers would get some good pictures. But I wasn’t sure, if my mom would like this. And I didn’t want her to be involved in something she really despised.
I was prepared for Mr. Kwon getting mad. I would take it, because it was my mother we were talking about. Using other celebrities was okay, since everyone did it. I just couldn’t do the same with my mother.
We met again inside and went to the 14th floor to get some food inside the cafeteria. The food there was actually really tasty and cheap. I got my mom a whole lot of different things and placed it on a tray in front of her.
„What about you?“, she looked at me.
„I’m fine.“, I said and took a zip of water.
I saw her eyebrows raising but I decided to ignore it. She wouldn’t understand my diet plan, even if I would explain it to her.
„Are you happy?“, she asked after a short pause.
„Of course I am.“, I answered right away. „I know you might not understand this, but it’s everything I ever wanted. It’s becoming real.“, I said.
„I’m just worried.“, she said not looking at me. „Your dad and I…“, she started another sentence. „…we were hoping you would come to your right mind and come back living with us.“, she said really quietly.
„I know, mom.“
„Just don’t feel ashamed if you want to quit everything, okay? You’re always welcome at home. Even though your father said those harsh things.“
I sighed.
„Tell me about your boyfriend.“, she said and shoved some of the food into her tiny mouth.
„Well…“, I began. „I don’t think we’re actually dating. We only met a few times.“
„But why is the internet saying you two are a couple?“
„It’s just rumors.“
„Then why don’t you tell them you’re not dating?!“, she asked me.
„Because it’s good publicity having those articles coming out.“
„Ah, that’s how it is. I’m not sure if I like this kind of business.“, my mom said and I noticed the sharp tone in her voice.
„You don’t have to like it.“, I said. I started to get mad at her. She came all the way to Seoul to see me and then she was only criticizing me. She could’ve just been happy for me.

„Look, mom. I don’t really have too much time left.“, I said.
„Why not? What’s on your schedule?“, she wanted to know.
„Tonight is the grand opening of the new Stylenanda store and I have to be there.“, I explained.
She nodded but didn’t seem satisfied. „I was hoping to have more time with you. But that’s how it is now.“, she sighed. 

I was glad when my mom had left. Of course I missed her. But I didn’t miss the life, she was constantly reminding me of.
When I started out to be a model, she was trying to talk me out of it. She wanted me to finish school, to make something out of my life.
My dad was a fishermen. And my mom sold the fish he caught. She was pushing me through school, because she didn’t want me to end up like them. She was proud of her life and she was happy the way it was. But there were hard times every now and then, that she didn’t wish anyone.
I remembered the day I left home, like it was yesterday, though it was already over a year ago. My dad was furious, he told me not to ever come home, if I left. But I did leave. And I never returned since.
I sat inside the make-up room and got ready for the store opening. I starred into my reflection, like I always did. ‚You’re not pretty enough to be a model.‘, I heard my mom’s voice inside my head. ‚You and your huge thighs belong into a real job.‘, she had told me.
„What’s wrong, Miss Clover?“, Sunhi asked, when she was putting my hair into loose waves.
„Hm?!“, I shook my head.
„You seem so absent.“, she said quietly.
„I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind lately.“, I said and tried to smile.
„Are you really dating Lee Taejung, Miss Clover?“, she whispered.
„Apparently.“, I said.
„That’s so exciting.“, Sunhi gasped. „Is he coming tonight, as well?!“, she wanted to know.
I shrugged my shoulders. „I don’t know.“
Sunhi opened her mouth in disbelieve. „How can you not know?“
„Since we both have really tight schedules, we don’t get to talk much.“, I told her.
„How unfortunate. I hope you’re having more time, once the promotions for the album are over.“
I nodded.

„Why did you not stick to our arrangement?“, Mr. Kwon said. He sat in the car, missing his blue shades.
„I just couldn’t involve my family.“, I said. „She would probably tell everyone my real name.“, I explained to him. I was surprised how easy lying became over the time.
Mr. Kwon sighed and put his blue sunglasses on. „Fine then. Make sure to be around Taejung tonight.“, he said and answered my unasked question.
I felt how my heart started racing. I was nervous. But there was more. It was a strange happy feeling mixed with tingling fingers and an awkwardness inside my belly.

„Don’t mess up this time.“, he said.
„I won’t.“
„Just stay around him, get some pictures taken and answer some questions of the reporters.“
„I have to answer questions?“, I asked in shock. I jumped up from my seat and almost hit the car’s roof. „But you didn’t give me the training yet.“, I remarked.
„You watched Level Five’s interview, didn’t you?“, he said. „So you’re good.“
I took some deep breaths. How hard could it be, to answer some questions. It wasn’t that they could ask something I didn’t know.
     I got out of the car, pulled down my mini skirt and smoothed my hair into place.
One. Two. Three. I went onto the carpet that was put in front of the great entrance doors of the new Stylenanda store. A few celebrities were talking and some posed for the photographers. I was one of them now. I just had to sell myself. And it worked. I was posing for the cameras. A women waved me closer. She held a mic in her tiny hands and focused me with her eyes.
„Clover, over here.“, she said. Some other interviewers started to yell my name.
„How is it that you’re not with Taejung now?“, the women asked.
„He’s coming with Level Five, so I get to see him later.“, I answered.
„So you’re confirming that you two are dating?!“, she stated.
My thoughts were racing inside my head. I couldn’t confirm it. I haven’t talked to Taejung about it. What if he had something else in mind.
„My management will take care of any official statements that have to be made.“, I answered.
The women grinned. „You’re new to the business, what are your plans?“, she then asked. I was so glad that she wasn’t asking about Taejung anymore.
„I want to do more shootings and I would love to do more commercials.“, I said.
„Do you want to become an actress?“, another women with a mic asked.
„Well, I probably wouldn’t turn down any offers.“, I said and smiled.
„What are you wearing tonight?“, I was asked.
„I’m wearing Stylenanda the new Partylight collection.“
The group started to get nervous. I heard whispering and mumbling. Did I say something wrong?
„Clover, Taejung is here.“, the interviewer said and pointed into the direction were Level Five’s car had just arrived.
My heart froze. Taejung jumped out of the car. His shimmery black hair swept sideways. He wore a black pair of jeans and a leather jacket. Every member of Level Five was dressed in black tonight.
„Can you get him for an interview?“, the reporter asked.
„I see what I can do.“, I smiled. I hated her for making me do this.
I walked over to Taejung.
„That women over there…“, I said and pointed at her. „…she wants an interview of us. But if you don’t want to, I agree. I just didn’t know what to tell her, since we didn’t talk about what we’re doing next.“, I sputtered.
„Do you want to be dating?“, he asked me.
I looked at him in surprise. I didn’t expect this question.
„I mean, for the reporters.“, he added and killed my excitement. Of course he meant if I wanted to pretend to be dating.
„Do you think this is a good idea?“, I asked.
„Don’t you?“
„But how are we getting out of this?“, I wanted to know. We couldn’t pretend to be dating for the rest of our lives. And a breakup would most likely end bad for at least one person involved.
„We come up with this later.“, he said and smiled at me. His smile had such a warmth that my worries seemed to wash away.
„I’ll be right back, I just have to do some interview with Clover.“, he said to Chaemin, Heojae, Seoljin and Baeksoo.
He then put his arm around my waist and guided me over to the women I was just talking to.
All the cameras started to take pictures. The flashes were so bright I thought I would go blind any second. Reporters came rushing to the spot in front of the carpet, shoving each other aside.
„Could we make this a little more organized, please?!“, Taejung said, still having his arm around me.
„Is this an official confirmation of you two dating?“, a man asked and tried to reach his mic up to Taejung.
„The management will make an official statement regarding this topic soon.“, he stated.
„Rumors say you know each other for a long time already. Is this true?“, someone asked.
„No. We just met at the music video shooting.“, Taejung said. I heard his soft voice vibrating inside his chest. I felt so comfortable next to him.
„In your latest instagram post you’re talking about having a great time with Clover on Jeju Island. Was she really with you?“
Taejung pulled me a little closer and looked down at me.
„Yes, I was with him.“, I said, causing flustered whispering. 

„Are you okay?“, Taejung asked after we finished the interview and he was done getting pictures taken with Level Five.
„I’m fine. How about you?“, I asked.
We were wandering through the store, looking at the clothing items and tried not to gather too much attention.
He nodded. „I just hope I didn’t push you into it.“, he said.
„No, no.“, I quickly said. But still I had my doubts about it. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all.
„Will your manager be okay with it?“, he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and looked around the store to see if Mr. Kwon was somewhere around.
„I’m not sure. He was mad the last time.“
„He was? Really? I’m sorry, if I…“
„It’s fine.“, I interrupted him. „It wasn’t too bad.“, I smiled.
Taejung seemed relieved. „Can I ask you something?“
I looked at him waiting for his question.
„How did you end up with Mr. Kwon?“, he wanted to know.
„Why?“
„Because of Ahn Jaerin.“, he said and lowered his voice.

„Who?“, her name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t think of who she was.
„Mr. Kwon’s former client?!“, Taejung looked me deeply in the eyes but still I had no clue what he was talking about.
Taejung looked around. Then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out to the terrace. Since it got really cold, we were pretty much alone out there.
„Don’t tell me you haven’t heard the story.“, Taejung said.
I felt his grip around my wrist. Even though it was somewhat tight, it had something so soft and innocent to it. I starred into Taejung’s dark eyes, searching for the pupil that melted into the iris.
„What story?“, I breathed.
„Ahn Jaerin, the solo singer, who killed herself three years ago…“, he said.
„What about her?“, I briefly remembered to hear something about this incident.
„She was Mr. Kwon’s client. And it’s said that he drove her into suicide.“
„Really?“, I didn’t know if I was shocked or if my mind just told my body that I had to be shocked.
Taejung nodded. „I mean, I don’t believe rumors. Obviously.“, he said. „But please just be careful around him.“ I heard how concerned his voice sounded.
I nodded.
„Clover, I mean it!“, he said. His hands grabbed my face and he forced me to look at him. He was searching for something inside my eyes, but he didn’t seem to find it.
„If you have too much stress or anything like that, just tell me.“, he said.
I tried to nod within his grab.
He sighed and let go of me.
„Why do you care?“, I asked. I noticed that some of the other guests on the terrace were watching us.
He looked at me in confusion.
„We’re not actually dating, so why do you care?“, I was surprised about the strength I was able to put into my voice and ask that question. Not that it was important why he cared. But since those weird feelings wouldn’t go away, I just needed to know what he thought of me.
„I think because I’m the youngest it’s just something new to me if anyone is younger than me. I just feel like I have to watch you.“, he said but didn’t seem too sure about his own words. „You are younger than me, aren’t you?“
„I’m fif… seventeen.“, I said. That’s what I called the little-sister-zone.
Taejung looked at me for a moment. „We should get back inside.“, he said.

I sat inside the car, heading back to my dorm, starred into the dark night sky and sighed.

I still felt where Taejung’s hands had touched my face. 

I liked being around him. I liked it way too much. 

All this time I had to pretend to be someone, I wasn’t. But when I was around Taejung, I felt like I was myself again. It had been hard for me to put on the Clover-mask. And it was even harder to maintain like this. I had the feeling that Clover was someone I wasn’t fitting. She was too different. She was confident and pretty. But I was not. How could I pretend to be someone like that? Clover was just so much better than I was, she wasn’t reachable for me.
While trying to come up to Mr. Kwon’s expectations as Clover, I totally lost myself. Hyeonmin was gone. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Whenever I was with Taejung, I started to remember. I started to feel something. I suddenly knew how wrong it was for me to lie and I was shocked how easy a lie went over my lips by now. Clover never cared too much.
But ultimately, I wasn’t Hyeonmin anymore. And I couldn’t let her back into my life. I had to be Clover and banish every bit that was left of Hyeonmin. I had to live Clover’s life. Even though this meant I could never be with Taejung.

-

kpopobsession.com

Taejung and Clover attend Stylenanda opening event together

Both, Taejung and Clover did not answer the question whether they are dating or not. But for Netizens this didn’t need to be said out loud.
Taejung and Clover seemed really comfortable around each other. In fact there was a lot of body contact and amorous glances. Though the two did not arrive together.
Clover came early explaining Taejung’s absence with him arriving with the other Level Five members. As soon as L5 arrived at the event, Taejung only had eyes for Clover, answering the questions of the curious reporters, while tightly hugging his alleged girlfriend.

Taejung disproved the rumor of him and Clover dating since early this year by stating that they only recently met during the MV shoot for Coffee Kiss. But there had been another rumor to be revealed when Clover confirmed she was indeed with Taejung on Jeju Island when he posted the picture to his instagram account last week (@L5TJ).
Many Leveler’s hearts broke today, when hearing L5’s Maknae seems to be dating a young and pretty model. Fans even started an anti-Taever twitter spree with #TJbelongstoL5, clearly stating their disapproval of the dating speculations.

comment box

levelersjunji:
who’s this Clover anyway? Like nobody’s ever heard of her…

Reply 178 Likes

level5_rockets:

태송 오빠 왜?? :((

Reply 5 Likes

yomugon:

If you’re real fans, you should be happy for him.
I can’t stand this Clover chick either, but if Taejung likes her,
she has to have something. So suck it up and don’t cry like

little babies. It’s not like you have a chance anyway…

Reply 27 Likes

taejungsaranghae9:
@yomugon you’re just jealous because you can’t have him.
If you don’t like Clover, you should not like them dating. She’s
really bad for him.

Reply 34 Likes

레플파이프한나:

Aaaaw. I am so happy for Taejung-oppa. Finally he find a girl too.
I think they look good together. 축하 한다!! :DD
sorry my english not so good…

Reply 89 Likes

yubinloverunni:
is Jisun not in the video? why?

Reply 18 Likes

yomugon:
@yubinloverunni XD

Reply 46 Likes

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